Into the Darkness, Into the Light

I received this email from Jen today. Three Christmases ago her mother was suffering with breast cancer and died in March of 2005 at which time Jens bout with depression began. One year ago in November, her psychiatrist recommended hospitalization, instead, Jen signed up for my coaching course. She recovered and has been in 'remission' from depression since January. However, her symptoms began to return in mid November and although she is still in my class and still under the care of a psychiatrist, she was falling deeper and deeper into the dark cloud of her depression again. She wasn't functioning at all, she felt unable to shower, she couldn't talk to anyone without sobbing and was having visions of some very dangerous actions. Very slowly, since the holiday season began, Jen has been slipping back into the darkness. We scheduled a session yesterday and this is her experience of that session.


Before Elizabeth called me, I was filled with grief, sadness, depression; I was scared. It was a dark cloud surrounding me, suffocating me. I couldn't get out no matter how hard I tried. The pain was so powerful. The feelings unbearable. I just wanted to leave this earth, because I couldn't see past the darkness into the light. Light and darkness cannot coexist. Light will always win over darkness, but I couldn't see the light. When she called, she asked if I was ready...ready to finish this, ready to leave the darkness. "No...I'm not ready...I'm scared, so scared." I said. I didn't know what I was scared of, but the fear had taken over. I was sobbing, shaking; I couldn't speak, words were getting stopped in my throat, unable to escape...I couldn't move. " I will be right here with you, I will hold you, we are energetically connected." Elizabeth told me as we took just a few moments to connect our energy & IMMEDIATELY I felt her. She was with me, holding me, arms around me. I felt her strength & it comforted me. My strength was depleted, so to feel hers was hopeful & possible. "Let's explore this creation you are in....tell me everything you are seeing. I'm right here with you, you are safe." She said.
(This creation can only be imagined like a huge bubble-like image; it seemed to go on forever...through the Universe, so enormous in size. I was in the middle somewhere. It was eerily dark...like being in the middle of a storm. It's the day, so you know there should be light and sun somewhere lighting the sky, but the black & gray ominous clouds swirling and bubbling against each other fill above me. The fog that hovers below me...the unknowingness if whether it is going to storm, or be a tornado...)
Elizabeth & I begin to walk...and it feels almost as if she is carrying me..holding me up, moving me forward. The first thing we see is our swimming pool. In the pool, at the bottom, is me with Rylan & Baylor. [her children] We are hugging each other and we are not alive. "It's not their time"...I hear inside me. It is too much to look at...sobbing, we move forward. I see the hole. I am so afraid of the hole. We step to the edge of the hole and look in together. I see my mom at the bottom of the hole reaching up to me....and I see myself reaching in for her outstretched hand. I want to hold her. I pull her out of the hole, and she is holding her arms out to embrace me, but she cannot get close to me. At this time Elizabeth calls to her Guides, Angels & Team. She calls to Saint Jerome for help. We bring in my Team & Angels for support. I ask mom to hold her arms out to her sides, making a cross. As she does this, our Teams and Saint Jerome surround her and lift her; carrying her up...the clouds break & I see the beautiful light. They bring her to the light. In that instant I breathe...deeply & calmly. I stop crying...the darkness lifts from my shoulders, from my back, my legs...I feel light. I call out that I love her as she leaves my sight. I know she heard me.
Elizabeth and I finish walking around the "bubble" to resolve any residual creations that exist here...in this creation. It is much smaller now. It is about the size of my 3 street neighborhood; and the walls are much softer. It is lighter. I see Joel (my husband) in this creation. I am afraid that he will leave me, pass on before I am ready. But, that is not what this journey is about. It is not about " when I am ready", or what I need or want. Everyone on this plain will die when it is their time. Joel & I are soul mates, I have seen us together in past lives, and we will be together again after this life.
So, I take a needle, and "pop" his "bubble" that was residing inside this larger creation. Elizabeth and I label this large creation, we step out of it and examine it, without judgment. Then we discreated it.


The darkness I had been feeling and lived in for almost 3 years was mostly my Mom's energy. She didn't want to leave me behind. She wanted me to come be with her. She was so depressed and hurting in this life, that she took that with her when she passed over. She needs to deal with that now, on the other side. I won't be seeing her or contacting her for awhile, while she works on her "stuff". But when it is good for both of us, I know that our Higher Selves will meet again.
I am finally at peace & I know she is too.

The experience that I had was a remarkable, incredible, unexplainable happening. I tried to put it into words as best as I could, but even now...reading it...it just isn't even close to how amazing this experience was. I am back to my old self again. The pain and heaviness has lifted...and it was literally immediate. The strength, love and peace that I felt from my coach, Elizabeth, was as real as anything you can touch. All I can really say is :
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!

Jen's mother lived a tragic life of desperation and depression. Their roles had switched at some point early in Jen's life when she became the adult caregiver and her mother slipped further into dependency. Her mother was Earthbound because of that dependency. She couldn't cut the bond and move into the light without assistance. Now she is free, as is Jen.

I spoke with Jen today and she is light and bright and happy. She has recorded some of her favorite Christmas music for her home, car and for her neighbor. Yesterday after our session she took a shower, cleaned her room, wrapped packages and mailed them off. She feels no residue of her mother's energy anywhere in her house. Her Christmas will be spent in joy and celebration.

I am so grateful to have been a part of this beautiful healing.