Positive Evidence Journal

Keeping a Positive Evidence Journal is a way of reminding yourself that you are, indeed, receiving messages and imput and direction from your Spirit Guides and Angels. Here is a recent entry in my journal.

"Earlier today I scripted to feel calm, safe and protected as I moved through my busy day. I asked to keep an open connection to my Inner Guide and my outer spiritual team to guide me through my day of chores and errands. Shortly after I wrote that, I found myself driving to the car wash after having had breakfast at Good Stuff. My car was covered with soot and ash from the local fires here. I was headed up from the beach, on Avenue F, about to cross Pacific Coast Hwy. The traffic light was green, so I gave it a little gas to make sure I made it through. Then I heard a voice inside my head. "Which way do you want to go?" My foot came off the gas pedal as I contemplated that question. I could go straight through the intersection and into the driveway of the large parking lot in front of Albertson's and around to the car wash....or.....turn left and right into the driveway of the car wash. I decided a left turn was the most direct way and my foot went to the brake to slow down...just then, a car came screaming through the intersection, ignoring the red light. Had I not hesitated I would have been on his front hood. I was safely protected. That is my positive evidence that I am heard. My guides, my teachers, my team, my Angels, my Inner Guide is always pre-paving my day according to my script. And so it is.

I'm Leavin On A Jet Plane.....

It's that time of year again. It's time for pumpkins, sweaters, boots, and gloves. Not so much if you live in a beach town in Southern California so, I have to travel to get my Autumn fix of blustery cold and crisp weather and perhaps some trees in their fall wardrobe.

This trip, as with all others, is a mix of vacation time and work time. I'll be doing a dozen or so spiritual readings but I will have plenty of time for a Day Of The Dead party on Friday night and some shopping in Boulder and Denver. This will be my first visit to Boulder. I don't know why, but the first time I ever heard about Boulder I thought I'd like to live there. Thirty years later and I'm finally going to see for myself if that is the truth.

First stop? Phoenix for Halloween. Can't miss my babies in their costumes. Shanon has arranged for her friends to come over after the kids are in bed and we're going to have our own seance. Oooooooh.......Spoooky.....

And, Marlie is scheduled tomorrow for an MRI. This baby girl hasn't finished putting us through our paces. Two more months and she'll be a year old. I have a feeling, an intuitive hunch, she's going be ready for a more normal sleep pattern and any health issues will be fully and completely resolved when she is one year old. Bless her heart. She has been an amazing teacher for me and I suspect she has the genetic link for psychic abilities.

I'll be in Denver/Boulder for a week with Karl and Carmelita, the angel Feng Shui Consultant. I'm so excited to see them again. Barbara and Dave and their three blonde cuties are giving me the guest room for a few days before I head back to Arizona. Andra is now 7 and the twins are 6. I gets lots of love when I am with those girls. I'm the California Auntie.

Then, it's back to Arizona for "Celebrate Your Life". www.celebrateyourlife.com Scottsdale has some great restaurants and beautiful shops but I may not have any free time for that. I have a full day class on Friday , keynote speakers on Friday night and Saturday night, three classes on Saturday and Sunday and a full day class on Monday. I'm not sure if I'll be exhausted or energized. Hmmm. I just decided. Yes, I'll be energized. That will be my script for the weekend.

I'm not sure if I'll have access to the Internet while traveling but I'll do my best to keep up with emails. Of course, the cell phone is always on. Leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Phone readings may have to wait for my return on November 13th.



Have a fun Halloween!

From "Good News Network. org"

World's Largest Freshwater Conservation Area Set Up by Canada
Written by geri
Saturday, 27 October 2007
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced on Thursday that a section of Lake Superior's northern shore has been declared a protected marine area, making it the largest freshwater conservation area in the world.

Idaho Rehabilitates Scorched Land From Wildfires
Written by JOHN GRAMLICH, Stateline.org
Friday, 26 October 2007
A year after the devastation from Idaho’s worst wildfire, Governor Otter has drummed up support for a statewide, citizen-led volunteer effort to rehabilitate torched lands by replanting it with millions of sagebrush seeds, a plant critical to the local habitat, which will provide shelter and food for wildlife while preventing erosion.

Cities Try Going 'Green' With Blackouts
Written by geri
Thursday, 25 October 2007
"On Saturday evening, it's "Lights out San Francisco," where people will voluntary turn off lights for an hour. The aim is to raise awareness of light pollution and the energy wasted by lights left on."


White House Moves to Protect Striped Bass
Written by Cindy Bogard
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
On Saturday, President Bush visited the Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum in St. Michaels, Maryland, to sign an Executive Order to protect America's striped bass and red drum fish populations from over-fishing.

Trout Return to Once-Contaminated Creek
Written by geri
Monday, 22 October 2007
Butte, Mont- A Superfund cleanup of Silver Bow Creek has led to the return of wild populations of live trout, after mining contaminants left the stream dead for more than a century. (AP)

Superflock of Endangered Birds Spotted in Turkey
Written by M. Mealey
Monday, 22 October 2007
Scientists thought as few as 400 Sociable Lapwings remained, a critically endandered bird of the Middle East and Central Asia. "Now, a superflock of 3,000 has been spotted in Turkey."


Cirque du Soleil Founder Brings Water to Poor Nations
Written by geri
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte unveiled Monday a new foundation that will help the world's poorest countries gain access to precious clean water, funding the program with (Canadian) $100 million

Anti-Emigration Strategy: Small Mexican Towns Try to Create Jobs at Home
Written by geri
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
"In rural Mexico, locals try to make a brighter prospect out of staying home." (CS Monitor)

Mexican 'Bomberos' Helping California Wildfire Effort
Written by geri
Monday, 29 October 2007
More than three dozen Mexican firefighters have been tackling California's wildfires in what officials say is the first time firemen from south of the border have battled blazes on US soil. "Firefighters are firefighters; it doesn't matter if they're Mexican or American..."


Ex-Child Soldier Finds Healing and Purpose in Music
Written by geri
Monday, 29 October 2007
"As one of the "Lost Boys" of Sudan, he has traveled a road of pain many people cannot imagine, survived against all odds and come back to become an artist, rapping about those experiences. Music has provided him an outlet to deal with his boyhood suffering and transform it." 'I believe I survived for a reason,' he sings, 'to touch lives.' Now he's raising money for schools in Africa and performing for homeless kids there.

Less Junk Food Seen in U.S. Schools, CDC Finds
Written by geri
Monday, 29 October 2007
U.S. schools have made considerable improvements in their policies to promote the health of students since 2000, particularly in the areas of nutrition, physical activity and tobacco use, says a study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"Every thought we think changes our biochemistry. Your hormones are all affected by your thoughts. Pay attention to things that bring you joy. When I read the newspaper, I look for the good news."

— Dr. Christiane Northup

Ah Yes...the Action...

When Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." he was expressing the importance of the Law of Attraction or the Law of Vibrations.

Know what you want, see it, feel what it feels like to be it, or have it already manifest. Now walk about in your world today, looking for the evidence that it has been put into action. The next step is 'take action'.

A spiritually responsible individual walks the walk by taking action. The action can be as simple as picking up a plastic bottle and putting it into a recycling bin. Or, it can be as big as speaking to a large audience about the changes we need to make to bring peace and harmony back to planet Earth. It can be a discovery, an invention, and investment, a manuscript or a fax to the White House requesting attention be brought to the solutions rather than to the game of blame.

Your actions, whether small or large add powerful vibration of attraction. Your energetic intention is the vibration of change.


What can you do today to say to the Universe that you are serious about wanting to bring Peace to the world? How do you bring about a healing for the planet? What can you do today to show that you are part of the solution and not part of the problem? Can you put your cigarette butts in an ashtray instead of throw them out of your car window? (Seriously. I have a friend who does that.) Can you drink your water out of a glass rather than a a plastic bottle? Can you choose to eat one vegetarian meal today to help cut down on the pollution of the meat and dairy industry? Will you? Will you say, "I am a citizen of Planet Earth. I want every person to have enough food to eat, shelter, education, and health care. I want this planet to rejuvenate and be a healthy environment for all people."

Can you send one dollar to Doctors Without Borders, or PATH or Habitat For Humanity or any organization working for a better world? Will you be a spiritually responsible citizen? Take some action today to show you are serious about the change we all know needs to happen in order for our planet and our brothers and sisters, children and grandchildren to live a better life in a safe and clean environment.

One thing. Just one. Two if you're feeling particularly generous. Three if you're on a roll....

Monday Night Football

The Broncos are playing tonight so the kids are ready to cheer on Daddy's favorite team.

What a Difference a Blog Makes

Three years ago I had a blog where I wrote a great deal more about political issues, the war, and global warming. I chose to delete that blog for this one. My intention was to shift awareness from what I viewed as 'wrong' with our current state of affairs, to focus on the possibilities and positive evidence of what is 'right' right now.

We know that what we put our attention on, with emotional energy, tends to create more of the same. That is the Universal Law of Attraction, The Law of Cause and Effect, Karma. Opening a doorway in the collective unconscious to the solutions rather than the problems is a way of shifting energies to greater possibilities.

Every problem has a solution. The solutions are already in place and have been since we started asking and praying for things to be better. Those who pray and meditate on Peace are adding to the mass energy of solutions rather than more conflict. Those who bring their attention to the solutions to global warming and hope for future generations are adding to the possibilities for the very ideas, inventions and discoveries that are now taking form. A movement and shift in consciousness is gaining strength to shift from global destruction to balance and global harmony.

Evangelical fundamentalist Christians believe in the apocalypse and believe the end of the world is at hand. They believe it, are emotional about it, lecture on it, sermonize about it, and create a mass of energy that supports it. What they, and others like them, don't seem to understand is the mechanics of creation. These individuals and organized groups, by their focused attention and fear, are really creating much more of what we are experiencing than they know. The Law of Attraction works whether you believe in it or not. It works whether you are thinking about health and prosperity or hate and vengence. It works by intention or by default.

I changed blogs so as not to add to that energy. Instead I wanted to teach about alternative possibilities. Put your attention on love, as Jesus taught us, and you will experience your life differently. Come from acceptance, as Jesus taught us, and you will experience harmony. Hold faith in your heart, as Jesus taught us, and you will live in a state of trust and health.

There is a huge difference between Christians and Christ Followers. Christ followers hear His words of love, peace, harmony, non-judgemental brotherhood and that is what we follow. When organized religion and 'churches' manipulated His words and messages, to follow a selfish agenda for profit, Christ Consciousness had to take a back seat. For this reason alone I support the "Separation of Church and State" amendment. Religion has no place in politics and vice versa.

When people ask me if I am a Christian, I say no. The truth is, I am a Christ Follower. I follow his message and the meaning of His life as my truth. He was inclusive, not exclusive. He loved all people. He was a Buddha, a fully enlightened spirit who had experienced nirvana. He put his hands on the sick and healed them with a combination of His love and their faith. That is healing energy. He awakened the hope in the hopeless and he forgave the unforgivable. When he was asked about these miracles he performed he said that these things he did, we can do and much more. Jesus was a pacifist, a liberal, a healer, a teacher, a passionate and loving man by all accounts. When did his message become so polluted with hate and discrimination?

Much has been said about global warming being the cause of the fires in Southern California and hurricane Katrina. More fear propaganda. Some Christians have said it is God's wrath for our liberal ways and our acceptance of alternative lifestyles. More fear.

The fire in Malibu happened because of strong winds blowing down a power line. The fire in Irvine started because of a very sick man who needed to feel powerful so he lit a match. We are experiencing a drought, things are dry so everyone wants to blame someone, including God.

A few years ago we were flooded by El Nino and again...the God's are angry...who do we sacrifice? Who do we blame? Homosexuals? Liberals? Environmentalists? The President? Someone, please. How silly is that? Fear breeds more fear and down the rabbit hole we all go. Stop it.

Stop for a moment, that's all it takes. Stop and put your attention on the solutions, inventions, discoveries, and new ways of thinking and being that will allow the solutions to manifest. You don't have to know what the solutions are. You only have to know that God, in it's infinite wisdom and love, always has a solution, a healing, an enlightened avenue for this planet. It is evidenced all around us.

In the recent fires here, there were beautiful heroes everywhere. Normal, everyday citizens saving animals, saving neighbors homes, opening their's for the 'refugee's of fire' to find harbor and safety. Yes. Look for the heroes and the miracles that came from this disaster. Look for the awakening and the love that has come from this. See these people recovering. See them finding solutions. See them rebuilding. See them finding answers. See us all in the light in which we were created.

Focus on the cure, not the disease. Anger and fear is the disease. What is the cure?

I watched Bill Maher last night. His guests were angry that women in the Middle East wear burqa's. Huh? We're angry at our president and vice president. We're angry with our congress. We're angry at the democrats the republicans the left, the right, the sick, the poor, the immigrants, the doctors the patients....

Understanding is the cure for anger and fear. Understanding happens when you quiet down the inner chatter and listen. Open your mind to alternative ways of thinking and being. Ask for a change in you that will bring about your own enlightenment, your own state of peace and grace, even in the face of others fear and anger. That's how we will move forward and heal this planet and these conflicts.

So, with that in mind. Close your eyes and receive some expanded breaths. Calm down your fear and anger and ask to see a doorway, an alternative to conflict, a way to peace and harmony. Ask for the solutions, discoveries and inventions to be shown to us, the 'collective' us. Then move through your day, looking for the evidence that your Angels, Spirit Guides, God, have heard you and they are acting according to your intention. Do it everyday, several times a day if you wish. We have the power to make the shifts necessary so that our children have a bright path to follow. Be the healers you were put here to be.

That's alls I'm sayin.

Scripting the day.

Here's a sample of a script that may help you think differently about healing.


As I move through my day, I want to feel and experience the evaporation
of tension in my neck and shoulders. The pain in my head is easing as
I type these words. Tension is simply excitement with fear attached.
I hold my excitement and release any fear that may have crept in on old
memories of past experiences that no longer exist. I am new. My day
is new. My life is new. My relationships are new. I attract positive
evidence that I have released past injuries and heartache with love and
forgiveness and therefore I am free to move forward to new fun loving
experiences and healthier, supportive, loving and committed
relationships. Today I want to surrender my old ways of thinking and
being. I want to receive the glorious wave of love and encouragement
from my spiritual team. I am healed today, right now. So it is.

The Winds Have Changed

Moisture is moving into Southern California. I felt it at 6 PM last night. The winds have slowed and shifted direction. There is good news in Malibu, Canyon Country, and other hot spots. I can breathe, although, I won't be taking any long walks just yet.

Thank you all for your kind messages and prayers.

I remember the last time we were surrounded on all sides by wild fires. It was October, 1993 and I was mad hot crazy in love with a silver haired Zorro. He lived on a boat in the Portofino Marina that is right down the hill from me. We were snuggled up inside his cabin when we smelled the smoke. When we stepped up onto the deck it was covered with ash. The air was red and glowing like our love, or so we thought at the time. I thought about this last night as I drifted off to sleep. My attitude that time and my attitude this time are a contrast in energies. It was the same type of wild fires, burning up homes and hillsides, spewing particles in the air, but it felt like purifying passion back then. This time it felt like devastation and murder. The only difference is my state of mind. My perception and attitude changed the experience. Love changed the experience.

So, I've decided to shift my energy today from sadness and fear, to love and trust. I will take baby steps as I move from the lower vibrations to the higher ones.

We are powerful beings with a connection to the infinite intelligence of creation. When we consciously make that connection to the higher vibrations of the universe, we are divinely guided to make the right decisions, take the right action and trust that we have a higher purpose.

Smokey Skies

It's 90 degrees on the beach here. I can't breathe. My eyes are burning, my throat hurts, my chest is tight. There are white ashes all over my furniture, counter tops, carpet, bed...everywhere. My head hurts. It feels threatening even though I am 40 miles from any flames. I'm praying for rain.

Democracy Now

* Bush Admin Prosecution of Largest Muslim Charity in U.S. Ends in Mistrial
*

The now-defunct Holy Land Foundation was once the largest Muslim charity in
the United States. It collected donations for local committees providing
humanitarian aid in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. The government had accused
it of providing ³material support² to a foreign terrorist organization. But
jurors failed to reach a unanimous verdict and the US district judge
declared a mistrial on most of the charges. We speak to David Cole,
Professor of Law at Georgetown University and Khalil Meek, President of the
Muslim Legal Fund of America.

Listen/Watch/Read
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=07/10/24/1528208


* Testifying Before Congress, Rendition Victim Maher Arar Gets Apology from
Bipartisan Lawmakers but None from White House *

A bipartisan group of Congress members have personally apologized to Maher
Arar, the Canadian citizen seized by U.S. officials, secretly flown to
Syria, where he was tortured. Arar testified last week before a House panel,
the first time he has had a chance to tell his story to U.S. lawmakers. But
he couldn¹t testify in person. Even though the Canadian government has
cleared his name, Arar remains barred from the U.S. because the Bush
administration says he poses a national security threat.

Listen/Watch/Read
http://www.democracynow.org/article.pl?sid=07/10/24/1528217

Pussy Cat, Pussy Cat, I love You.....

Yes, I DO! You and your Pussy Cat ears. You and your Pussy Cat smile....

Miss Marlie is ready for tricks and treats! She's 10 months old. She just keeps getting healthier and healthier, smarter and smarter. Now, if we could just get to her sleep through the night. Whew!

About Healing

How People Heal

From the Book Jacket:

Leading scientists are beginning to believe what healers and mystics have always said: The forces of mind and spirit are as real as gravity and atomic power. We sometimes assume that subtle energy is beyond our ability to measure or harness. How People Heal shows, instead, that it is literally at our fingertips.

Diane Goldner began her four-year investigation of healing as a skeptical reporter. She'd heard the stories about spiritual healing, energy medicine, therapeutic touch, "laying on of hands," and faith healing. But, she asked, if these unusual forms of healing work, why is it a secret?

Goldner visited laboratories, hospitals, and clinics where researchers study what used to be called miracle healing. She pored over the scientific studies and then entered the trenches, working alongside some of today's leading energy healers. Her research convinced her that spiritual and energy healing are real and teachable, and can play a life-changing role in the treatment of serious illnesses, from emotional distress to heart disease, from cancer to AIDS. It also led her to realize her own gifts as a healer.

The conscious use of subtle energy is a powerful healing tool.
How People Heal tells why this is the future of healing.

Excerpts From How People Heal



How Healing Works
Adapted from chapter 4, Anatomy of the Soul.

From a healer's perspective, energy and consciousness underlies our
bodies. This energy is called chi in China and prana in India. It surrounds
and permeates our bodies. It is more fundamental even than our physical body.

As former NASA scientist-turned healer Barbara Brennan explains in
Light Emerging, "You are energy. You are not in your physical body--
your physical body is in you."

Most disease, whether it is a physical illness or a chronic life pattern,
is associated with blocks and disruptions in this flow of energy. When
a healer opens a person's energy and creates more flow, it can affect a person physically, emotionally, mentally and/or spiritually.

A person may, after a healing, have more awareness of emotional patterns
relating to a physical problem after a healing. A person may also experience
more rapid healing of a wound or illness. A spiritual shift might involve
feeling peace, love and connection to one's true essence.




Healing Research
Adapted from Chapter 2, Child's Play.

Researchers only began studying the effects of energy healing, also
called intentional healing and spiritual healing, in the laboratory in the
1960s. By 1998 more than 177 controlled studies of energy healing
had been completed. Of these studies, 72.9 percent found significant
effects in the judgment of Dr. Daniel Benor, an American psychiatrist
who reviewed them in Healing Research: Holistic Energy Medicine and Spirituality.

Dr. Benor began collecting the data after a colleague invited him to witness
a healing session by MariEl healer Ethel Lombardi in 1980. Dr. Benor says he was a total skeptic-until he saw her do a healing. "She brought about a
change in one hour in a young man that I couldn't explain," he recalls.

He says Lombardi did not even touch the lesion under the young man's
nipple, which was the ostensible reason for the session." As she was doing
the laying on of hands, she said, 'You have some unfinished business with
your father,' " recalls Dr. Benor. "She'd never met him before. He nodded
and started sobbing. She looked at me and winked, as if to say, 'Top that
in psychiatry.' "

Dr. Benor says he palpitated the lesion before and after the session. He
claims that it shrank by a half-centimeter and grew softer after the treatment. "Imagine: This woman cut through in no time, what it would take me years
or at least months of work to do as a psychiatrist," he says. "So I started looking at the research."

The studies, which he gathered over nearly a decade, show that healing
treatments affect the growth of hemoglobin, cancer cells, bacteria, human
hormones and enzyme levels in vitro. They also demonstrate that healing
influences the growth and health of fungus, plants and animals. Other
studies found that healing reduced hypertension.

One study even documented reduced symptoms in a group of men who
had suffered heart attacks and then received prayers, while in the hospital, from people they had never met. More recently, a follow-up study of
prayer and heart patients, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, also found significant results.

Another study done at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco,
of 40 end-stage AIDS patients, found that the patients who received distant
healing had fewer illnesses and fewer hospitalizations and improvements in
their moods, compared to the control group.

The National Institutes of Health is now funding two large studies of
distant healing, one involving glioblastoma, a deadly brain cancer, and the
other involving AIDS patients. Medical researchers at Duke and Harvard
Universities are also studying prayer and laying on of hands.

Some doctors, like Larry Dossey, editor of Alternative Therapies, author
of Healing Words, and the former chief of staff at Humana Hospital in
Dallas, Texas, consider these studies irrefutable proof of the power of spiritual healing. Dr. Dossey calls these studies, "one of the best kept
secrets in medical science."

Dr. Benor is equally impressed. "If psi healing were a medication, it would
be accepted as a potent treatment by mainstream science," he asserts. "This
is especially so in the view of the absence of side effects."




A Skeptic Tries A Healing
Adapted from Chapter 3, “Shifting Paradigms”


Finally, in February 1995, I decided to see what it would be like to have
a healing treatment myself. My attitude was: prove it. Diane Arnold, a cheerful, blonde woman in her 40s, was then a newly-minted graduate
of the Brennan school and a former general partner in a brokerage firm, seemed like a down-to-earth person as she led me upstairs to the parlor room of her Brooklyn town house. As she sat me down on her couch,
she asked me to describe my "presenting complaint." Although I have suffered from frequent migraine headaches for most of my life, I didn't
think of myself as having any physical problems. But like so many people,
I certainly wanted to be happier. I especially wanted to understand my romantic relationships better.

Arnold seemed to feel that she could help. (I was dubious. I had been through years of psychoanalysis. I understood some of the causes of my anxiety, but I had not changed in any fundamental way.) I lay down on the table in her small healing room, and closed my eyes. After a few minutes I had the strangest sensation of something spinning inside of me--but not in
my body. I sat up with a start. Arnold was holding a pendulum over my abdomen, which esoteric literature describes as the location of the third chakra. I had felt my chakra spin. It turned out to be the highlight of the session. Other than that, I just felt so relaxed, it was almost like I had
been drugged.

By the end of the session, I even wondered if I had made up the sensation of my chakra spinning. Nevertheless, I tried a few more sessions. They
were all pleasant. I drifted off into a kind of sleep. I was in a good mood afterwards. Arnold described being guided to draw flowering vines on my "etheric" body during one session. After another, she told me three goddesses came and did the healing while she stood and "held the space." She'd never heard of one of the Goddesses. "Sw---she says her name is Sweet Mother," Arnold reported. She had a lovely poetic imagination. I
had to give her that. But I was losing patience. I didn't see any particular benefit. The fifth session, which I assumed would be my last, was the
turning point. And I almost walked out on it.

On that visit Arnold announced that she would work on my neck. "You
have quills in your neck," she said. I looked at her: Was she utterly crazy? Then it occurred to me she was speaking metaphorically. But no. "There really are quills," Arnold insisted. "Someone's been throwing barbs at you when you try to speak your truth. The quills are on the right side," she continued. "That means that they were thrown by men."

I got up to leave. But something made me stay to give healing one final test. As I lay on the healing table, I fell into that state of pleasant, slightly drugged relaxation (which I now know is a sign I have entered an altered state of consciousness from the energy). Then Arnold reached my neck. I suddenly experienced the most irritating stinging sensation. "Whatever you're doing, that hurts," I announced as calmly as I could. The sensation was so annoying I wanted to kill her. Even so, I wondered if it was the power of suggestion at work.

"I'm just removing the quills," she said. "It'll be over in a minute."
"Are the 'quills' going to come back?" I asked, sarcasm in my voice, after the session ended. I couldn't help it. I had felt something. But certainly not imaginary quills. "Not unless you let them," she said.

I didn't give these "quills" another thought. I left this woman's house certain
I would never return. I flew to Colorado to ski with my brother and his family. At the end of a lovely week, my brother and I got into an argument. I'm sorry to say this, but it wasn't especially unusual. In the middle of our exchange, however, I suddenly became aware that he was far more nasty than he needed to be. "You can't speak to me that way," I said quietly. "If you do, I will never visit you here again." I had never held my ground like that before. He was furious.

Only when I was on the plane returning to New York did I remember the "quills." My brother had thrown a barb at me--and I didn't let it stick. Suddenly, I felt in my bones that the way I responded was connected to the energy session. It was as if I was a computer and someone had gone in and reset my programming ever so slightly , smoothing out a glitch. To me, it was both subtle and astonishing. It was only then that I became convinced that energy healing was real.

Later, a few of the earlier sessions that I had dismissed turned out to be extremely significant, too. I learned over time that subtle energy affected me more like a letter or a poem or a song than a pill in the sense that its significance and impact unfolded over time. I found that even seemingly basic healing sessions often made more sense a day or a week or even months later, as the energy and consciousness percolated its way through my system.

Eventually I had many other experiences, in the course of my research on subtle energy healing that I would have said were impossible until I had
them. One of the biggest shocks was my first long distance healing session,
in which I literally felt a healer run energy through my body and release a migraine headache--the kind that, for me, usually lasts for several days and
is impervious to prescription medication--although at the time we were on opposite coasts. How could someone 3,000 miles away impact my system? It is something that scientists are just now beginning to study. Yet, it appears to be an innate gift, part of being human. Eventually, after the appropriate training and a great deal of inner spiritual work, my vision opened up and I found myself called to do healings and distant healings.

From Dean Radin, http://deanradin.blogspot.com/

One of the most surprising discoveries of modern physics is that objects aren't as separate as they may seem. When you drill down into the core of even the most solid-looking material, separateness dissolves. All that remains, like the smile of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland, are relationships extending curiously throughout space and time. These connections were predicted by quantum theory and were called "spooky action at a distance" by Albert Einstein. One of the founders of quantum theory, Erwin Schrödinger, dubbed this peculiarity entanglement, saying "I would not call that one but rather the characteristic trait of quantum mechanics."

The deeper reality suggested by the existence of entanglement is so unlike the world of everyday experience that until recently, many physicists believed it was interesting only for abstract theoretical reasons. They accepted that the microscopic world of elementary particles could become curiously entangled, but those entangled states were assumed to be fleeting and have no practical consequences for the world as we experience it. That view is rapidly changing.

Scientists are now finding that there are ways in which the effects of microscopic entanglements "scale up" into our macroscopic world. Entangled connections between carefully prepared atomic-sized objects can persist over many miles. There are theoretical descriptions showing how tasks can be accomplished by entangled groups without the members of the group communicating with each other in any conventional way. Some scientists suggest that the remarkable degree of coherence displayed in living systems might depend in some fundamental way on quantum effects like entanglement. Others suggest that conscious awareness is caused or related in some important way to entangled particles in the brain. Some even propose that the entire universe is a single, self-entangled object.

What if these speculations are correct? What would human experience be like in such an interconnected universe? Would we occasionally have numinous feelings of connectedness with loved ones at a distance? Would such experiences evoke a feeling of awe that there's more to reality than common sense implies? Could "entangled minds" result in the experience of your hearing the telephone ring and somehow knowing - instantly - who's calling? If we did have such experiences, could they be due to real information that somehow bypassed the usual sensory channels, or are such reports mere delusions? Can psychic or "psi" experiences be studied by science, or are they beyond the reach of rational understanding?

Fire

The drought in California has been drastic. Our open spaces are ripe for flames. Arsonists know this and often wait for the perfect winds to set their blazes and today we are surrounded on all sides by wild fires. It's been confirmed that the Irvine fire was intentionally set but the Malibu fire was started when the winds blew down power lines.

Tens of thousands of acres in seven counties are burning at this moment. Cities including, Malibu, Canyon Country, Lake Arrowhead, Irvine, and San Diego are burning and blowing smoke and embers in the 40 mile per hour winds. We have gusts of wind up to 60 and 70 miles per hour. Malibu sits about 25 miles north of where I live but I can see the smoke from the beach. Canyon Country is a little north east of there and Lake Arrowhead is in the San Bernadino Mountains in the east, about 100 miles from where I sit. We are perfectly safe here but it is an erie feeling to know that you are surrounded in all directions by fire.

"Fire. If there ever was a dichotomous element it would be Fire. Fire, the bringer of destruction, the symbolism of chaos and war. Fire burns everything, bringing nothing but ruin. And yet, Prometheus risked the wrath of the Titans to bring fire to man. Fire banishes the darkness. Fire cleanses and purifies. Lastly, sometimes Love is spoken of as an eternal flame. Fire.
Fire can be shown as an agent of destruction. Everyone can imagine the scene where the heroine looks down and the town is awash in flames. Fire is also usually used for strong emotional feelings (such as love, hate, desire, and determination). Fire can also be used to express determination or a strong desire as well.

Characters and things that are shown to have a 'fire-esq' quality to them usually have a red-colored theme to them. Red because flames and coals have a red coloration to them. They are also more likely to be violent (in this case violent meaning extreme and chaotic) in their response and more likely to rush into a situation without completely thinking the consequences through. For example, Hino Rei / Sailor Mars (from Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon) is Fire personified, but she is hardly evil, nor does she have evil intents. She is strong-willed, hot-tempered, and incredibly determined and independent, that's all.

One of my first teachers was Patricia Sun, 1977

Excerpt from Patricia Sun's new book available in the spring.


"My theory is that humans have evolved to a unique readiness to see enough of what is good; and enough of what is able to be achieved, with courage and earnestness: to manifest a collective quantum leap in consciousness. I believe we are now at a rather narrow window—of huge opportunity. The Age of Realization.


Humanity has an expansively unique possibility it could choose. It is in our power and conscious ability to choose the next step of development by healing ourselves, which is done by empowering our honesty. And we need to help each other by giving each other a break. We need to give our selves a break too.


There is a good reason why Jesus said, 'Judge not lest ye be judged.' Not being judgmental gives our minds and even our bodies, a chance to shift out of polarized, immature thinking. A chance to forgive others and ourselves so we can all face mistakes––as the wonderful insights for change that they are. We need to know too that there is a big difference between making a judgment and being judgmental.


We will and must make observations/judgments like, the fruit is ripe or rotten, but judgmental is a stagnant, unmoving boxing of thought that criticizes with bad feeling. It is an energetic put down to feel superior. It is not a helpful critique, or just knowledge.


It is a sign of maturity when you can communicate information about corrections, and it is sent and received with goodwill. When people are judgmental and must self righteously or condescendingly blame others, they reveal their internal intolerance to their own faults or shadow. This in turn creates self-hatred or at least, low self-esteem that drives them to cover their fear with arrogance, domination and intolerance of others. This is the root of our dysfunction.


Box thinking is a comfortable narrow-minded either/or, mental trap that makes us ‘right’ but also creates the feeling of distaste, fear or hate of the other, which is ‘wrong’. This both harms us and creates humiliation: a poison to human dignity that screams for defense at all cost. The cost is high. It is a trap that requires more and more blindness—and desperately the fruit becomes simplistically, all rotten or all ripe—because of the fear of seeing that you may be the one that is "wrong". It is why denial and ignorance seem the only defense.

Further, it is why such brilliant beautiful beings that humans beings are—use their magnificent brains to keep themselves ignorant, drugged, fighting, escapist, greedy, persecuting, or decadent. It is why great civilizations reach a certain point —that of facing themselves— and if they don't face and self-correct themselves––they decay and fall. Decadence and self-delusion always proceeds a fall. Matching energy keeps it running as we escalate our projection and denial into more and more escapist destruction, decadence, persecution and war.

A culture of denial is the prerequisite of injustice and war; it is a thinking problem more than political. War is merely a failure of maturity.

War is a failure of human intelligence."

“We are on the threshold of a global transformation….a new world order of affluence and peace based on the knowledge, and direct experience of the core unity of life in higher states of consciousness.”

John Hagelin, Ph.D.
World-Renowned Quantum Physicist

Gary Zukav Quote

“If you wish the world to become loving and compassionate, become loving and compassionate yourself. If you wish to diminish fear in the world, diminish your own. These are the gifts that you can give. The fear that exists between nations is a macrocosm of the fear that exists between individuals. The perception of power as external that separates nations is the same that exists between individuals; and the love, clarity and compassion that emerge within the individual that chooses consciously to align itself with its soul is the same that will bring sexes, races, nations and neighbors into harmony with each other.”

"Using the standards applied to any other area of science, it is concluded that psychic functioning has been well established. It is recommended that future experiments focus on understanding how this phenomenon works, and on how to make it as useful as possible. The primary work examined in this report was government sponsored research conducted at Stanford Research Institute." Jessica Utts

Death By Suicide

The call came last week, from Washington D.C. His soul mate, and friend, took a shot gun, put it to his head and pulled the trigger. That was two weeks ago.

"Can you help me understand what happened and why he didn't call me? Is it too soon to contact him and if we do, will that prevent him from moving on? I'm so confused and angry and sad and mostly I feel guilty. I feel like I should have known what he was planning but I had no idea. I really want to be able to ask him. My friend told me to call you. Can you help me?"

The conversation lasted twenty minutes. I answered the questions I could, I explained what I know, and we scheduled a phone session for later in the week. I asked him to prepare his questions and call me back on Tuesday at 6PM PST.

Interestingly, I was not available that night. He called but I wasn't able to answer the phone. He had set up a space for the call, turned off his television, lit a candle and began to clean up the space around him.

The next day I called him and apologized for not being there at our scheduled time and he said it turned out to be perfect timing. He had the opportunity to create a sacred space and for the first time in months, felt peaceful. (There are no accidents)

Our session lasted 90 minutes. The spirit of his friend arrived early and not alone. He has been assigned a very strong teacher, like a drill sergeant, to help him through his transition. Here is his story.

He came in and sat in the chair opposite mine. Standing near and above him was his teacher. He began to sob and held his head in his hands. Of course, the energy around his head was very scattered but he knew where he was and why. He's been allowed to see what he left behind in order for him to recognize the consequences of his choice. He was very sad, very sorry for the pain his mother and family were experiencing because of him. To see it all has been hell for him.

I watched him as he expressed his sorrow and regrets. He was tall, with a beautiful body. I couldn't tell what his face had looked like but I knew he must have been a handsome man. I was told later that, in fact, he was a model, an actor and the cat's meow. What went wrong with this poor soul?

They showed me a time when he was about 7 years old, when he experienced a psychic wound. His father died after many years of alcohol abuse and a serious gambling addiction. His son was left to carry his open wound throughout his life and was never again the same. By the time he was in high school he started using street drugs and alcohol and that's when the real damage began. His brain was badly affected. After many years of abuse, he was diagnosed with a bi-polar disorder and severe depression. Add to his addiction, prescription drugs, and it was down hill from there. Down, down, and down some more, until he thought he would never be able to climb out of the hole he had fallen into. He lost all hope and decided it would be easier if he could just get out of his body. Oooops! Wrong again.

My client affirmed that, yes, indeed, his friend's father died when he was only seven or eight years old, and that yes, he had a drug problem and a mental illness. He asked if there was anything he could have done to save his friend. The answer was, no.

Before the reading began, I explained that he was to think of our session as a conference call. His friend can hear his questions and his words as if he was on an extension. He felt free to say to him what he needed and ask what he wanted. We had a three-way conversation that turned into a wonderful healing, not only for my client, but for his friend in the spirit world, as well. I watched him change from a sobbing, sad and guilty soul and slowly take on the love and forgiveness that was being offered. He began to take on a lighter, brighter energy and at one point I saw him smile at a memory that was being shared.

By the time our session was coming to an end, both of them were at peace. Both of them felt elevated and ready to let go. It was a beautiful session...

Suicide is a sin. I know, I never talk about sin. But, the word "sin" is an Old English archery term meaning, "Off the mark." It doesn't mean, "Booga Booga you're going to hell for eternity." Hell is a state of consciousness. It is painful, as painful as any emotional trauma you can imagine. But, it lasts only as long as one chooses to stay in that emotion. I suppose, for some, that can last many lifetimes. That is the importance of faith. To have faith that all conditions are temporary and that all circumstances do, indeed, shift and evolve, when you allow yourself to shift and evolve, is the miracle remedy. It may take two years to recover or two days, or two centuries. But, if you are masking your state of mind with drugs, alcohol or any other addictions, you will stunt your spiritual and emotional growth, which slows the shift and evolution of your soul to the pace of a snail. However, if you've ever watched a snail....he does eventually get to where he is headed. So, too, for the wounded soul of suicide.

With Redondo Beach in the background...

I'm struggling. I've been struggling all year. There's a project I just haven't been able to complete, or begin for that matter. Well, that's not entirely true. I begin and tear it up and begin again and tear it up, or in this case, I delete it and start it again.

There is a website under construction. It needed a new photo and here it is and it needs content and here it isn't. I love to write and for the life of me I can't understand why I can't write for this. There's a definite block. I will work on it this weekend and I have my focused intention upon the completion so I can get that off of my list once and for all. Any suggestions?

"Forgiveness remains the only path that leads out of hell. Whether we're forgiving our parents, someone else, or ourselves, the laws of mind remain the same: As we love, we shall be released from pain, and as we deny love, we shall remain in pain."

Marianne Williamson

Fear of Change

One of the biggest threats to the ego is change. We often say we want change but when the change begins to manifest, our ego throws up some pretty good blows to that wanting. We may hear it out of the mouths of our friends or spouses in the form of covert manipulations. "Oh Honey, Now that you're down to a size 10 surely you can have a piece of cheesecake." Or, "You've been sober for six months now, surely you're not an alcoholic. One drink shouldn't hurt. You deserve it." Or, more openly....."Ever since you've been working on your degree the house looks like hell and you're neglecting me." Basically, "You're changing and growing and I'm scared. You may not find me interesting anymore. You might outgrow me. Please go back and be the person I can fit in the box I've built for you."

Sometimes friends will begin to feel competitive with your new found spiritual awareness and epiphanies. They will find ways to put you down without coming right out and saying how they're feeling. They may point out your mistakes, your failed or unfinished projects. They may find it necessary to tell you what you should do, or point out how you could have done something better, in a way that sounds like constructive criticism but, of course, is hardly camouflaged. They may interrupt you to tell you how they read about that years ago or they've "been there done that." It's the old one-up-manship game. The fear is the same. "You are changing and growing, and I'm afraid you'll stop loving me."

The inner dialog might run along the lines of this self sabotaging plan..."This is hard work. I can't do this. Who am I kidding? I'd rather go shopping. Maybe I can distract myself with a phone call or a game of solitaire. I know! Instead of doing my homework tonight, I'll go to the movies and then get up early in the morning and do it."

Are you afraid of outgrowing your friends and lovers? Are you afraid that the old way of chatting or gossiping or simply the old conversational subjects will no longer satisfy the new expanded version of YOU? You may be right. You may find that talking about the mundane, everyday subjects bore you when there's all this new stuff out there that you've now become aware of. There's a huge universe of ideas and experiences that you want to share with your family and friends and maybe they don't share the same excitement or reality. They may not care to think or talk about spiritual matters or want to believe that you've learned to feel energies and communicate with them and manage them. It may just freak them out.

Then what?

You're bored with the old way of chatting and gossiping and they're not ready for prime time expanded spiritual communication. Does that mean that all of your friends will become your 'old' friends and you'll have to go out and make a whole new set of friends? Or find a new husband/wife'/lover?


Not at all.

Certainly, embarking on a spiritual journey to your own enlightenment will spark shifts in your relationships but that doesn't mean the shifts are not part of your intended relationships. If you are being drawn to the books, classes, spiritual coaches, retreats and seminars about working with intuitive energies, then it is time for you to stretch. And whoever or whomever is in your circle of friends or partnerships are part of that change whether they are consciously aware of it or not. The changes and shifts can be contagious. The mirrors in every conversation are opportunities for your growth. Even the apparent mundane topics have value in that they provide the fodder for your inner awareness to use for the lessons still to be learned. Life becomes humorous and what relationship can't use a little humor? Dramatic subjects that used to make you crazy and negatively emotional take on a different hue. Your response to other people's attempts at control and manipulation no longer conjure up fear and resentment but patience and tolerance. You see the fear that motivates their desire and, as a more enlightened being, you find that responding with a vibration of love quells any upheavals.


to be continued....

Marlie Smiles With Her Whole Face!

And Then There Are Some Mothers....

Did you hear about the mother in PA. who bought her mentally disturbed son weapons? He's 14, a high school drop out, who she was supposed to be home schooling. He wanted to get revenge on the kids who teased and bullied him. His father, who spent time in prison for drunk driving manslaughter, tried to buy him a rifle last year but he got busted for lying on the application.

What are these people thinking? Do they think? Should everyone be allowed to procreate? Shouldn't some people be sterilized before they reproduce?

I know a man who has six children with four different women and he doesn't take care of any of them. He's a 50 something-year-old alcoholic and nobody has made him get snipped yet. I think if you can't take care of your children, financially, emotionally, spiritually, you should have to forfeit the right to reproduce. Leave the job to those better suited.

My Daughter Called This Morning....

"Guess what the pickiest eater in the world ate last night?" She's right too. Michael is the pickiest eater I've ever known. If something green ends up on his plate or near his fork, you'd think he was being forced to eat spiders. "I DON'T WANT THIS! IT'S YUCKY! So, I was more than curious to hear the answer to her query.

"Do tell."

"He ate tomatoes, roasted squash, carrots and spinach." She said proudly.

Apparently, Jerry Seinfeld's wife has written a book about how to get veggies into your children without force feeding and handcuffs. The recipes call for flax oil, pureed spinach and carrots in the brownies, and roasted squash and tomatoes in the taco meat, cleverly disguised as 'sauce'.

What's more, she put chopped tomatoes on his plate, which he immediately reminded her, he doesn't eat...but proceeded to chow down on the veggie laden taco. Clever mothers, these ladies.

The Importance of Keeping a Positive Evidence Log

It's so easy to brush off the positive experiences we have throughout our days as, 'coincidences' and then quickly move on to the next thing we have scheduled. But, when we take the time to write them down, we begin to see a positive pattern emerge. I tell my clients to script their day, first thing in the morning, and if needed, again in the afternoon. Script how you want to feel during your day of projects. How do you want to feel paying your bills? Want to feel grateful for your prosperity? Want to make friends with your bills? Want to be respectful of the process? Maybe light a candle and play some fun music? Turn it into a pleasurable experience instead of a drag?

How about scripting how you want to feel in traffic today? Or script how you want to feel at your dentist appointment. Script how you want to feel doing household chores, doing laundry and cleaning out the refrigerator. How do you want to feel when you go to the parent teacher conference and how you want to feel at the car wash.

Scripting is our way of communicating to our guides, teachers, angels and master coach, what it is we are wanting. We set the tone for what to expect. We go about our day looking for positive evidence that our message was heard and acted upon.

At night, before falling asleep, I write in my positive evidence book all the positive things that took place during day as a way of bringing to my attention all the evidence of prosperity, health, love and positive action in my life and giving me an opportunity to feel grateful for all the things that go my way. It can be something as simple as that perfect parking space, the quarter on the ground next the that parking meter, or as big as the surprise check that arrived in the mail. The more we go about our lives looking for positive evidence of our spiritual growth and enlightenment, the more enlightened we become. Remember, energy flows where your attention goes.

Bonnie is having a birthday Saturday

So.....I'm having a small dinner party for her. This will be my first time use of the new dining room table. I almost hate to cover it up with a cloth, it's so pretty. Her choice of entree? Roasted Chicken. Stuffed roasted chicken, to be exact. She wants roasted chicken with stuffing, mashed potatoes, veggies and for dessert? Chocolately, chocolate covered, chocolate stuffed, chocolate cake, with vanilla ice cream. I can do that. Happy Birthday Bonster. Get the Red out!

The Wind is Howling

It's a windy day in Los Angeles. The Pacific Ocean has taken on a deep blue color and is rough with white capped waves. It's magnificent! I will take my camera out in a few minutes and see if I can catch a good photo of this most unusual day. Stew Day. It's the kind of day that moves me to make a trek to the market for hearty stew fixin's. Burgundy Stew, I think. Onions, garlic, good beef, carrots, potatoes, green beans and a good dose of red wine should do the trick. I'll let it simmer 'till my company arrives. Oh yes, and some crusty french bread. Oh yeah. Now that's what my kitchen is wanting. The aroma of a homecooked meal. I'd better hurry though. Tomorrow we're expecting a heat wave. Fickle weather.

What Comes Over Me?

I've been told numerous times that I need to call for back up before engaging in a confrontation but I have a trigger response and no time to call. It's a good thing I'm not a cop because I don't evaluate the environment, I don't judge the size and distance of a threat, I just react...

Karen and I met at Las Brisas tonight for Margaritas and tacos. She and I haven't sat down for a good old-fashioned girlfriend chat in far too long. We were sharing stories and laughing at each other's situations when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a young man throw a punch at his woman and knock her glass right out of her hand and across the table and onto the floor. Before I knew it, I was out of my seat at the edge of his booth, two rows away. She was asking him to let her out of the booth but he wouldn't move. There were five people sitting there and nobody was moving. I leaned into him and said, "Let her out." Where do I get my balls? This isn't the first time, by any means, that I've jumped into a volatile situation without regard for my safety. Believe me. My daughter could tell you stories, in fact, I think I may just share them with you here, because, dammit, we all have to step up when it's needed. He hit her and just sat there like he was the big man and she was just going to have to take it. ...well....he looked up at me and said, "Who the hell are you?" I leaned in further and whispered, "I'm the cops in about five minutes. Let her out." As I held his attention, she climbed over the seat and got away. I followed her out the door to the parking lot. I hugged her as she cried and I said, "Get away from these people." She got into her car and as far as I know she went home. As far as I was concerned the drama was over. I went back into the restaurant, sat down in my seat and resumed my conversation, as if nothing had happened. However, one of the people in the booth was the mother of the punk who threw the punch. She approached our table and said I should mind my own business, which is what these people always say. "Mind your own business." My answer to that is always the same, "This is my business. This is my restaurant, my neighborhood, my community, my space and you're in it. Therefore, you made it my business." She made a mistake. She put her hands on me. Nobody ever thinks I'm the kind of person who would say "boo" but...they're wrong. I reached for her arm and ended up with a handful of sweatshirt and I held on. She yelled, "I'm calling the police." Karen and I both said, "Good, call them. We'd love to tell them what went on here." Her son, the abuser, came in and retrived her and dragged her out.

These people think they are immune to anyone responding. Everyone is so afraid of getting involved. Frankly, I don't give a damn. Right is right and wrong is wrong. If you want to act like a dick and I'm there, you're going to have to hear about it from me. That's just who I am.

Caring for The Elderly

As the baby boomers are now reaching the golden age of retirement, most of us have parents who are heading into the twilight years of their 80s and 90s and in need of special assistance, and often in need of 24 hour care. My aunt was just placed in a private home for that kind of care. She is my mother's younger sister. She's blind and has been slowly losing her mind over the past year. She can no longer care for herself and probably should have been placed in a facility long ago. But, as is the common family genetic personality, she is stubborn. My cousins are all professional working people with families and businesses and very little free time. This seems to be a common problem for my generation. We still need to work, can't afford not to, and don't have the resources to afford daycare for our parents, college for our children, and babysit our grandchildren. This stage of life, the 50s,and 60s, comes with an enormous amount of responsibility. At least for those of us who have parents sill living and children who still speak to us.

I spoke with a woman yesterday who is struggling with her situation. Her father died several years ago and her mother is going blind so has moved in with her so that she will have someone to look out for her as her condition worsens. This is what she has experienced.

"I'm so angry that this has all fallen onto me. My mother was no saint, that's for sure. In fact she was not a good mother at all. She was mean and angry most of the time and lived like a slob. Her house was always filthy. I used to be embarrassed to bring friends over. She never showed up for my plays, my awards ceremonies at school, PTA meetings or my brother's baseball games. Once he was given a trophy for best player and neither one of our parents showed up to cheer him on. She was lazy and selfish and here I am, having to give her the care she never gave me. I resent the hell out of her. I find myself saying things to her that I shouldn't. I want to be forgiving, I want to be compassionate, I want to be a gentle loving person for her, but those memories are there...lurking in the back of my mind and I want to ....well I can't say what I want to do. Sometimes the thoughts in my head scare me, not that I would ever harm her. Really, I wouldn't. Please dont' think that. I'll keep her safe and I'll take care of her.....I just don't want to. The truth is, everyday I pray that she will have slipped away in her sleep so that I can get on with my life. That's terrible isn't it? When I hear her start moving around in her room, I almost feel disappointed that God didn't come and get her during the night. All she does all day is sit in a chair. What the hell kind of life is that? Where's the quality or dignity in sitting in a chair timing your bathroom breaks? We treat our pets better than this. I swear, when I get to that stage, if I get to that stage, I want to take some sleeping pills and just drift back out of my body. I will never be this kind of burden to my children, that's for sure."

She was honest with her feelings and she was able to vent them in the safe environment of my office. I created a space for her to let it all out. As the hour passed more was revealed.

"My father was an alcoholic. The things that happened in our house back then, would have put them in jail today. He was abusive and she never stepped in to protect us. She made excuses for him all the time. She stayed because she didn't want to go out on her own to make a better life for herself. I guess that's what she learned from her parents too. They were alcoholics too. It's crazy isn't it? Sometimes she'll just start talking about a memory she has from when she was 7 years old. She saw some things no child should have to see. Her parents would have drunken parties and she'd peek through the door and watch her mother take off her top and let men ...poor mom. I guess she didn't have a chance. Her life was destined to be what it was. I really feel sorry for her. She was never very bright to begin with. School was always a struggle for her. I guess she just didn't think she deserved anything better. She calls me a saint, you know. She thinks I can do anything and she's told me that she appreciates what I do for her. You know? I think I've been waiting for her to apologize for my childhood. I'm angry that she never said she was sorry for not being there for me. I was emotionally abandoned but, so was she. She just didn't know any better. How could she? She was abused too, and neglected. I guess she did the best she could with what she had."

As the session continued her energy began to soften. I asked her how she would like to feel today.

"I want to feel more loving and patient. I want to feel peaceful and accepting."

The more we moved through her feelings her tone moved up to higher freguencies. From anger and resentment, to acceptance and peace. I gave her some tools to use throughout the day to empower her to manage her emotional energy. I can't wait to see her next week.