$100 Million? Are you kidding me?

Hirst had the glittering piece, which was modeled on a real skull, built from 32 platinum plates and 8,601 diamonds, using a hand laser to cut thousands of tiny diamond settings.

The work has a 52-carat pink diamond at its center and is studded with 14 pear-shaped diamonds.

Hirst said the piece, called “For the Love of God,” was meant to highlight the transience of human existence. Critics called the work flamboyant and showy, but that was business as usual for Hirst, who has consistently courted controversy — and huge sums of cash.

Labor Day Weekend Wedding

I never finished the story about my trip up to Oregon. I got side tracked by a visit from my daughter and her two kids. They arrived last Thursday and won't be going back to Phoenix until Monday. We have a family wedding on Sunday at Donald Trump's place in Palos Verdes. He built a golf course on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean and with it, a beautiful club house, restaurant and banquet facilities. My sister Linda's middle child is getting married there in front of about 250 guests. The whole family has talked of little else since they announced their plans last Labor Day Weekend. Dresses, shoes, hair styles, colors, flowers, gifts, parties, showers, and honeymoon plans, not to mention the guesstimate of the cost of all of the above has been the focus for this family.

The mother-of-the-bride gave the kids $30,000 and told them they could do with it what they wanted. I had hoped they would buy a house but Maggie (the bride) wants the fairy tale wedding she dreamed about as a young girl. I've heard that my nephew has added another $20,000 to make sure his bride gets what she wants. My sister and brother-in-law have added another $10,000 for the rehearsal dinner, bar tab and honeymoon.

I think that spending that kind of money for one day out of your life is a collosal waste of money...but I'm much more practical about those things. I'd rather buy a vacation home or flip a house.

As The Mind Wanders

While vacuuming the carpet just now, I came upon a memory that was stimulated by my last post regarding my yearning for a connection with a man of intelligence, integrity and availability. I wandered down memory lane, The Avenue of Romantic Adventures. I remembered how the Universe, Source or my Guardian Angels sent me a blaring message one day while driving on Pier Avenue in Hermosa Beach, with a certain love interest sitting in the passenger seat. We were falling mad hot crazy in love, the two of us. He was definitely intelligent and available. Two down, one to go. We stopped at a red light, preparing to turn right onto Pacific Coast Highway, when a pedestrian began a slow and steady walk through the crosswalk. He was wearing a T-shirt with a message. It was like the "Got Milk?" campaign. But, his message asked, "Got Integrity?". My sexy new love bristled and snorted and mumbled something like, "What a geek." It really pushed his buttons. A red flag flew up right in front of my face. My instincts, my knowledge, my awareness knew full well what that meant. Against my better judgement I didn't listen. I had to learn the hard way. I should write a book, "I Did It The Hard Way!"

Oregon

After leaving Mount Shasta I felt amazing. I was peaceful and excited. I drove north to Ashland, Oregon to check out the Shakespeare Festival. I hadn't purchased tickets for "Romeo and Juliet" because I wasn't sure what my time frame would be. I am a romantic at heart and never tire of the story. I would have liked to have seen it but it wasn't to be. Instead I wandered about the shops and cafes in a blissful state. The weather was perfect, the time of day was lovely and I was floating in and out of shops.

By sunset it was time to move on. I drove into to Medford and checked into a cheap hotel for the night. I was asleep by 10.

Monday morning I left Medford and headed East. I wanted to see Klamath Falls. I expected there to be actual "Falls" but that turned out not to be the case. What I did see was well worth the drive. I happened upon a ground breaking ceremony for their Veterans Park. I watched five or six guys in army fatigues setting up chairs and a podium. 30 or so folding chairs sat under the shade of giant trees right next to the river. A plot of grass had been dug out and six shovels lay in a row. Some tables were set up and a banner hung. "Buy A Brick for Our Veterans Memorial" A poster was hanging that showed the design of what was coming and it was huge.

Next to the podium were 18 chairs, nine on each side. One by one people came and filled the seats. Many were in uniform. The color guard was brought to attention and we all stood as they brought out our flag and the flags of the different branches of the military. We all stood for the singing of our National Anthem. I am a very patriotic person. I'm often moved to tears at these things. I managed to stay composed, however.

After the opening ceremony and the initial speech from one of the men who was on the committee for this project, another man was introduced. He was a Vietnam Veteran who had been one of the first to be captured by the enemy. He was held in solitary confinement for four and a half years then moved to Hanoi. He spent a total of seven years as a POW. He told a story that sounded familiar to me. He was in his cell, alone, when he heard a knock. The old American knock familiar to a certain generation or two...."Shave and a haircut" He knocked back..."Two bits"
It turns out, this guy was in the cell next to John McCain. His story of torture and abuse made me think of the weekends meditation. ...Anyway, the ceremony ended with a serviceman from each branch marching out and taking a shovel. Simultaneously they made the first cut into the ground for the new memorial.

I love my country. I support our veterans and our active military. But, torture and abuse I will never support.

I left the park and walked over to the museum and spent an hour looking at the Native American History of art and artifacts. I have an affinity for the Native American people. It's in my blood. My father's grandmother was a native. It's funny. One one side of my family, my mother's side, the bloodline goes back to the 1600s invasion at Plymouth Rock. On my father's side, the Native American genocide. No wonder I'm conflicted! I'm often restimulated when I see the Native American photos and art. I've had more than a few lifetimes in America before it was The United States. I left the museum feeling anxious so I took a long walk to look at the architecture of the some of the historical buildings. Klamath Falls is doing a great job of restoring the old buildings and maintaining them. I stopped for lunch then headed back to my car after a few purchases along the way.

Next stop? Crater Lake!

What a trip!

I arrived in Sacramento at noon on Friday. The car I reserved turned out to be a pearly purple PT Cruiser convertible. >BIG SMILES< I put the top down and headed north on the 5 fwy. Four hours later I pulled into Mount Shasta, a two signal town. Seriously. It has two traffic lights on the main street. Keep in mind that I am an L.A. Woman. I have two traffic lights, one on each end of my street. I wouldn't know how to live in a small town where everyone knows your business. But my oh my...it is a beautiful place. It is a powerful place.

I had a couple of hours before the retreat was to begin so I checked into my hotel and went looking for a place for dinner. I found a cool looking place named Billy Goat Tavern. It had a deck shaded by trees that were growing right up through the floor. I spotted a small table in the corner, right next the the street and guess what? James Van Praagh had the same idea at the same time. What a coinkadink! He sat at a table next to mine with two of his lady friends and I sat right next to him at my own table. If I was the eavesdropping type of gal I would have picked up some tidbits but I kept to myself and minded my own business, for the most part.

I ordered, "Quite Possibly The Best Burger In The World". With a name like that, how could I not? And it was quite possibly the best burger I've ever had.

At 5:30 the doors to the community building opened and I went in to find a good seat. There were tables all around the walls piled high with books, Cd's, artwork, and jewelry for sale. There was also a very long table full of yummy desserts, coffee and teas. Everyone mingled and chatted.

At 6:30 James and Michael Tamura took the stage and the retreat began. Michael has a silly sense of humor, the kind that makes most people groan, but he made us laugh and that was good. He thinks we shouldn't take ourselves or our work so seriously. With 140 teachers, healers, light workers, authors, psychologists, therapists, doctors and students in the room, it was a good reminder. He told us his story of how he became the teacher and healer he is and gave us a general idea of what to expect over the next two days. He and James have been friends for many years so they were quite playful with each other and with the rest of us. Michael warned us that he has the ability to travel in his sleep. In fact, he struggles to stay in his body. Before the evening was over he suggested that we would see him in our dreams, where he would teach and heal us while we slept. I don't know if it was the power of suggestion or not but I swear I attended class all night long.


The doors opened at 8 AM on Saturday and the coffee and tea table was fully supplied. The buffet table had bowls of fresh strawberries, blueberries, and bananas. It had a veggie platter with dips and yogurt with granola. Someone brought a platter of cheeses, dips, crackers, lots of pastries. There was something for everyone, including chocolate cake. We stood around with our morning snacks and drinks and chatted about our dreams, our jobs, and exchanged business cards.
At 9:30 Michael got up on stage and rang the chimes for us to find our seats.

To tell you the truth, I didn't learn anything new that morning. I learned about Michael and his work, but nothing more about the healing work itself, at least nothing I didn't already know. By the lunch break I was a little disappointed that there wasn't any new information given that I could use in my practice. I left there and went to my hotel for a nap.

The afternoon session with James was not much different. He guided us through an interesting meditation to see past lives. It appeared to me that he was healing the group with his techniques rather than teaching us any of the how to's. He spent some time giving personal readings for some of the attendees. There was a woman whose daughter had died eight months ago, a man whose son had been shot in a drive-by, a woman who came from Germany who needed to hear from her dead mother. As I've said before, I didn't learn an awful lot watching this. It's what I do for a living, so...no biggie. By the end of Saturday I was beginning to think I had wasted my money and my time. Before he finished up on Saturday, he guided us through another healing meditation. I followed along and discovered a gall bladder problem that has reasserted itself. A nutritionist would say I've been eating the wrong foods and she wouldn't be wrong. A meta physician would ask, "What bitter thoughts are you holding on to?" A naturopathic doctor would give me herbs and flush my liver and gall bladder. He simply guided us through a meditation that literally lifted the energy out of my gall bladder. The discomfort left and it has yet to return. That was pretty amazing. It's a meditation I will be using with clients from now on and made the trip worth it.

I met some wonderful people and I bought some more books, one on reincarnation written by a man, a doctor, who believes he is, or was, John Adams. Have I told you that John Adams is my great-great-great-great-great grandfather? I had to have him sign my copy and he did, "Dear Elizabeth, It's great to meet my great, great, great granddaughter! God Bless, Walter Semkiw, M.D. aka John Adams"


That evening there was a private concert for us that I decided to pass on. Instead, I drove up to Panther Meadow half way up Mount Shasta. There is a story about St. Germain having been to that meadow and was confronted by a panther. He learned to surrender fear in order to befriend the beast. I took a short hike around the meadow and found a perfect place to sit and meditate. I watched the shadows grow long as the sun began to set. Finally, I got back in my purple car and headed back down to my hotel room.

Sunday was wonderful. The room was light with the energy our group was sharing. James and Michael commented on the fact that this particular combination of people and spirit guides was more advanced than they had anticipated. That would explain why it felt a bit like kindergarten for some of us. Because of that observation they decided to step it up and boy did they. We had several meditations that moved energy around and one that introduced us to our new spirit guides. Mine has wings. This is the first time I've had an angel as a guide. I've had a Saint, a holy woman, and now an angel. His name is Thomas. He will be working with me now and I'm really looking forward to getting to know him better.

By 2 PM, I didn't want it to end. I felt healed, enlightened and loved. My new friends and I exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch. I checked out of my hotel and headed north into Oregon for a few days of contemplation.

More later...

Good morning,

Last night, as I was preparing for bed, I recalled one of the healing guided meditations James led on Sunday. He asked us to think of an issue in our lives, a pattern we were aware of in our lives, one we wanted to understand. He guided us with deep breathing and focused attention. He led us to a room where three curtains were. One curtain was made of silk, one of silver and one of gold. One by one we were to open the curtain to reveal a past life related to the issue we were focused on.

When I opened the first curtain of silk, I saw a good looking young man at a writing table. He was writing an important message, one that had him in a state of anxiety. He seemed angry, sad, and determined. Outside the window of the room where he was sitting was the scene that had motivated his emotional outrage. It was a coliseum where Christians were being fed to lions. People were cheering and the crowd was huge. The scene so disturbed him he could no longer contain his emotions and began to write about the injustice and barbaric practice of torture and murder. He had been traveling and had seen many atrocities, violent and brutal behavior that brought him to the point of protest. He was writing to protest the actions of the government. He was alone, he was determined to make a difference or die.

The second curtain I opened was the silver one. There was a scene from an earlier lifetime. A woman was chained and being whipped by a large man. She had no power, no strength and nobody to help her. She was a total victim of her sex. She was being beaten not because of her beliefs neccessarily, but because she was a woman, a weaker more vulnerable person. It was violence for no apparent reason. She hadn't committed a crime, she was a slave.

Behind the third, gold curtain was a young man wearing white stockings and shiney black shoes. He was well dressed and riding a horse with great excitement. It was a lifetime in the early years of our country, perhaps before the constitution was completed. He was riding fast and with great excitement and freedom. He felt powerful, hopeful and riding for a purpose greater than himself.

The meditation was rather short. When it was over I had no idea how these lifetimes were part of a current pattern. I know from doing this sort of work for many years, that the answer will be revealed in time. The pattern I was focused on was in the area of personal relationships. I am a loner, I have been single for most of my life. I am extremely independent but yet, I yearn for a connection with a man of integrity, intelligence, purpose and availability. I've yet to meet him.

In these lifetimes I was a man with education and integrity but not in a relationship because my purpose was more important to me than marriage or family.

In the second scene I was a victim of the overpowering anger and strength of ownership. Being independent allows me the freedom to never have to take another persons emotional crap.

In the last life, I was free. I was riding fast and hard and felt like I could fly. I was hopeful for a cause. My purpose was, once again, more important than the simple life of a farmer or father, or husband. I had a mission that was above the basic needs of body and heart.

More will be revealed.

Mount Shasta

I'll be heading north in a few hours for the "Mediumship and Spiritual Healing Retreat" in Mount Shasta. It starts tonight but the meat of it is Saturday and Sunday. I've extended my stay by a couple of days so I can absorb some of the energy of this Indian holy ground. I'm expecting to be fully charged when I return. Have a wonderful weekend.

For Dallas

The Blank Rune

The Unknowable
The God Odin

Blank is the end, blank is the beginning. This is the Rune of total trust and should be taken as exciting evidence of your most immediate contact with your own true destiny which, time and again, rises like the phoenix from the ashes of what we call fate.

The Blank Rune can portend a death. But that death is usually symbolic, and may relate to any part of your life as you are living it now. Relinquishing control is the ultimate challenge for the Spiritual Warrior.

Here the Unknowable informs you that it is in motion in your life. In that blankness is held undiluted potential. At the same time both pregnant and empty, it comprehends the totality of being, all that is to be actualized. And if, indeed, there are "matters hidden by the gods, " you need only remember: What beckons is the creative power of the unknown.

Drawing the Blank Rune brings to the surface your deepest fears: Will I fail? Will I be abandoned? Will it all be taken away? And yet your highest good, your truest possibilities and all your fertile dreams are held within that blankness.

Willingness and permitting are what this Rune requires, for how can you exercise control over what is not yet in form? The Blank Rune often calls for no less an act of courage than the empty-handed leap into the void. Drawing it is a direct test of Faith.

The Blank Rune represents the path of Karma---the sum total of your actions and of their consequences. At the same time, this Rune teaches that the very debts of old karma shift and evolve as you shift and evolve. Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

Whenever you draw the Blank Rune, take heart: Know that the work of self-change is progressing in your life.


>grins<>

Forgiveness

"Being unwilling to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting another to die."

In All Of The Universe, The Only Constant, Is Change.

Reading that title just now may have created any number of responses from you, from, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that." to "Wow! That's so true." We hear old adages, cute sayings and age old quotes of wisdom and we respond either positively or negatively. Rarely do we not respond at all.

How do you respond?

"All we need is love." "Visualize World Peace." "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." "Be the love you want to have." "Let go and let God." Sometimes hearing those positive statements and others like them, will arouse a feeling of anger. Not just sometimes but, more often than any of us would like to admit. If you're feeling powerless, depressed or anchored in the muck of the past, then hearing that you are not without power to change what you are experiencing, can down right piss you off. It certainly has fried my cookies, from time to time.

Every school day morning my mother would call out the kitchen window, "Remember, good goes in and good goes out and good is all around you." or "Love goes in and love goes out and Love is all around you." Love meaning God, or Source, or Universal Life Force.

Bless her heart. My mother is still my most powerful teacher. She's 87 years old and doesn't have any health issues whatsoever. Oh, she's had the typical bits and pieces of her body create challenges, like her eyesight and hearing but, she has no need for aids of any kind, except reading glasses. She was doing yoga and meditating before it was hip.... way,way before.

My mother studied under Dr. Ernest Holmes, "The Science of Mind". She taught her children to believe in the goodness in all that is. It mattered not what religion, social class, color, or nationality, her mantra was, "We are all One." One of the lesson she taught was, "If you believe you can or if you believe you can't, either way, you're right." She taught us that we were capable of any achievement. "If you can perceive it, you can achieve it." She had a positive affirmation for any and all occasions.

"Mom? I can't find my keys!"

"Nothing is lost in consciousness, Honey."

However, when I'm in my drama, you know, really into acting it out, whether it's fear or anger or judgement, or sadness, whichever one it happens to be, if she gives me one of those, "All is well in your world.", I want to scream in rage. I don't, of course, because she is my mother and I try to honor that, so instead of using my words, I give her that look. You know the look. The, "Oh, dear God. How in the world can you be so stupid? Can't you see there are problems in the world? Don't you know what's happening to blah, blah. blah.?" Sheeesh! Talk about buttons getting pushed!

The reason my button is pushed is because her peaceful, knowing presence is where I want to be. In that moment, she is mirroring who I want to be and how I want to feel. But, where I am, in that present time situation, is not in that peaceful, knowing, trusting presence. The distance between my lower, negative vibration, in that particular moment, and her higher positive vibration, makes it difficult to be in the same room. It can make it difficult to be in the same building, in fact. It's like trying to have light and dark in the space at the same time. It cannot be done.

This is not to leave you with the impression that our roles are stagnant. We sometimes change roles. She'll get stuck in worry and fear, usually in relation to the lives of her children and grandchildren and I'll be the one to say, "All is well, Mama. Let go and let God."

We are built with a guidance system. Our emotions are our guidance system. Our intentions are the rudders. It's as if we are luxury yachts on the emotional seas of consciousness. We have charted a course to the land of abundance, radiant health, loving relationships, passion, peace and bliss. Our job, as the captain of our ship, is to stay on course. If the waves of emotion push us too far off course, it is our job to focus our direction, our attention, our rudders on our intended destination.

Source energy is always responding to our vibration. That's why, "When it rains, it pours." That's why, "What goes around, comes around." That's why, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." That's why, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

You know how an echo is created, right? A sound vibration expands outward, hits a surface and bounces back. If you shout out, "I love you!" you will hear, "I love you." right back. If you shout out, "I am abundant joy." you're not going to hear back, "Not today you're not." or "You would be if it wasn't for so and so."

Source energy is always giving back to you whatever energy you are sending out. Your energy or emotion depends on where you put your attention. Energy flows where attention goes. Your attention and intention are the rudders that can change your direction and keep you from straying too far off of your intended course.

If all experiences are temporary and the only constant is change, then at any given moment your vibration can shift from a lower vibration to a higher one and back again. We do it all day long everyday. Like the waves come and go and the tides change our emotional current shifts up and down the emotional scale. The way to healing our bodies, our hearts and our minds is to focus on moving from a lower vibration to a higher one. That's how we stay on course.

Nobody should expect to jump from depression to bliss in an instant. A ship cannot make a U turn on a dime, or a on sea dollar, to stay with the metaphor. But if you are the captain of your ship, and you are, then adjusting your course throughout the day keeps you on target to your bliss. You may have to go from your starting point of depression and fear into anger, insecurity and guilt. From jealousy, hatred, and rage into revenge, anger and discouragement. From blame, worry and doubt, into disappointment, overwhelmed and frustration. From pessimism, boredom and contentment...all the way, bit by bit, to hopefulness, optimism, and positive expectation. From enthusiasm and passion into ....

Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation and

...BLISS

Change is the only constant. Don't let who you are being get in the way of who you are becoming. You are an ever expanding, creative, evolving and powerful being, capable of not only charting your own course but bringing your ship into your port of call, wherever that is. You decide.

What is your destination?

What would you like to experience on your cruise?

Focus your energy and your vibration to align with your intended destination and allow the universe and Source to light your way. Source, like the lighthouses up and down the coast, is constantly giving you direction and guidance. Be still and listen. There is a whisper encouraging you to continue, to persevere. Sometimes there are shouts, "Get moving!"

Opportunities and chance encounters are Source energy echos. Don't worry about the missed opportunities from your past. Don't focus on where you have been unless you want to go back there. Old patterns and worries about the past are like anchors that will slow down your progress. The point is, you can break anchor any time you want and new opportunities and chances are like the constant waves and tides. Nothing is lost. It's all right here, right now.

Anchors away! The trade winds are blowing. Open your sails and read your emotional compass. From point A (anger or apathy) to point B (your Bliss) you are on a journey. Trust your emotional compass to tell you where you are. Trust Source to lead to your intended destination. Full speed ahead.

Psychics in the mainstream

Ghosts and people who see them are becoming common, mainstream entertainment these days. We've always had the occasional movie like, "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" and "Topper", "Sixth Sense" and "A Christmas Carol" but now we have prime time shows on almost every television station and they are based on real life stories of psychics and mediums. Channel 2 has James Van Praagh's, "The Ghost Whisperer". Channel 4 has Allison Dubois in "Medium". Court TV has the reality shows, "Psychic Detectives" and "Ghost Hunters". TNT has "Saving Grace". Lifetime has "Lisa Williams, Life Among the Dead." and this fall a new show on the Discovery Channel will feature psychic/medium Laurie Campbell in "Sensing Murder".

Everyday, all over the country and the world, there are healers and psychics and mediums working to help people recover from loss, trauma and illnesses. There are tens of thousands of us with a clear intention of assisting others on their path to recovery. My desire and intention, as a healer and teacher, is to assist people in recovering their peace, their passion, and their purpose.

As in every profession, there are the few spoiled apples who give us a bad name, but overall, the people I meet at retreats and conventions, are honest, intuitive talents with integrity and abilities that are sometimes astounding.

We all have the ability to see and feel energies, to communicate telepathically and to lay our hands on each other for healing. If you are reading this, you can do it. I'm hoping these television shows will open a door in the minds of the masses to bring out a desire to do exactly that, whether it is to heal a pet, a plant, a person or a lost soul. The Earth is waiting for us to wake up to our innate talents. Want to join the party?

I've been hearing rumors about this...had to Google it.

Quietly but systematically, the Bush Administration is advancing the plan to build a huge NAFTA Super Highway, four football-fields-wide, through the heart of the U.S. along Interstate 35, from the Mexican border at Laredo, Tex., to the Canadian border north of Duluth, Minn.

Once complete, the new road will allow containers from the Far East to enter the United States through the Mexican port of Lazaro Cardenas, bypassing the Longshoreman’s Union in the process. The Mexican trucks, without the involvement of the Teamsters Union, will drive on what will be the nation’s most modern highway straight into the heart of America. The Mexican trucks will cross border in FAST lanes, checked only electronically by the new “SENTRI” system. The first customs stop will be a Mexican customs office in Kansas City, their new Smart Port complex, a facility being built for Mexico at a cost of $3 million to the U.S. taxpayers in Kansas City. As incredible as this plan may seem to some readers, the first Trans-Texas Corridor segment of the NAFTA Super Highway is ready to begin construction next year. Various U.S. government agencies, dozens of state agencies, and scores of private NGOs (non-governmental organizations) have been working behind the scenes to create the NAFTA Super Highway, despite the lack of comment on the plan by President Bush. The American public is largely asleep to this key piece of the coming “North American Union” that government planners in the new trilateral region of United States, Canada and Mexico are about to drive into reality.

Celebrity Sighting

I never understood the fanatic fan response to seeing a celebrity up close and personal. You'll never see me asking anyone for their autograph unless it's on the bottom of a check. I used to have lunch with Jerry Mathers pretty regularly and people would come up to him all the time and ask him to sign their napkin or matchbook. I just didn't get it. Yet, I must admit to a bit of a thrill the other day, while walking down 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica and spotting Dustin Hoffman. He couldn't have been more than a few feet from me and nobody was bothering him. He was enjoying a beautiful summer day with his family and I may have been the only one trying to take his picture.

What happens in our heads when we see someone famous? I was nearly giddy. The Beaver didn't do it for me, maybe because we were neighbors and friends but....Dustin? He may be short, and he is, but that there man has some good vibes.

Drugs and Psychic Injury

Her sister had been a client of mine a few years back and had wonderful success with her issues with food and bulimia. She was very young and her mother recognized the signs before it became a fixation. She went on to USC and graduated with honors. She now lives in Africa doing wonderful work and is healthy and happy. Because of her sister's success she asked for an appointment. Her issue wasn't food related.

Ms. T. has also graduated from USC but her experience there wasn't quite the same. She experimented with Ecstasy. In fact, to call it experimentation wouldn't be accurate. She abused it and regularly. During our initial session she estimated she took it over 80 times in 18 months. She had a mental breakdown complete with hallucinations and hospitalization. The experience was so frightening she stopped using the drug but has suffered symptoms not unlike PTSD. She had a job with a great company but her work is not anything she can feel proud of. She said she's afraid she has permanent brain damage. She's depressed, lethargic and has been unsociable. Her boyfriend has been understanding and her family is very supportive but she was afraid of some of the thoughts she'd been having. Her mother referred her to me.


Ms. T. seemed eager to work through the issues but when it came to doing the work of recovery she stumbled. Something about being a victim kept coming up. She always had an excuse or reason for not completing the exercises I gave her and she often called at the last minute to cancel her appointments. After two months of little progress I changed course.

Past life regression is a tool I use rarely. I've had success with people who have specific phobias like fear of closed in spaces or fear of driving. Usually when a client can relive an experience and see for themselves the episode that created their fear it is a simple thing to move through it. I suspected Ms. T. may have had such an episode. I wasn't entirely accurate.

She closed her eyes and started her deep breathing exercise as we did with every session. This time I asked her to look back to a time when she experienced a similar feeling and reaction to her life. A belief of being a victim of life circumstances instead of a creator of experiences. Where she went was back to college. She described what she was seeing. She was upstairs in a bedroom. There was a big party going on downstairs. She was a naive freshman, an inexperienced and sheltered young girl. In the room with her are several shadows. At first she thought she was sleeping but she remembered being downstairs having fun when she suddenly blacked out. The shadows were touching her, having sex with her. She couldn't move or fight them off. She had been drugged. The next morning she had no memory of it but when she went to the bathroom there was evidence of a gang rape. She was afraid to tell anyone. Her girlfriend tried to persuade her to go to the authorities but she was embarrassed and didn't want her parents to know. Her symptoms of depression began a few months later. Anxiety at parties grew and the need to drink alcohol and take drugs that made her feel happy was born. She showed no emotion while telling me this memory.

It isn't what I expected to hear because I can usually see things like that. For whatever reason I wasn't allowed access to that information. It was for her to remember and not for me to suspect.

We spent the rest of the session going back again to earlier times when she felt out of control. It turned out her father was very controlling. From the way she described his rules and expectations it sounded like he may suffer from OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Towels had to be hung a certain way, food in the cabinets had to be facing forward with labels showing and in a specific order. I'm not a licensed psychotherapist so I would never attempt to diagnose someone with a specific illness or condition, but, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

She remembered when she was five years old and she was taking piano lessons. Her father insisted she practice for one hour a day. He came home from work one day and she was under the piano. She wouldn't come out to practice. He lost his temper. She was dragged out and slammed down on the piano bench. She had to sit there until the timer went off, passed dinner time. She showed no emotion while remembering this incident either. It didn't seem to her to be unusual or extreme. I, of course, didn't add my two cents about it because that's not how it works. I had to keep my energy from adding to her experience.

She regressed further, to her birth. She was due on Christmas Day but that was inconvenient for the doctor and her family. They induced labor a week early. At that, she cried. She felt it, finally.

Birth trauma can take many forms. I have a friend who likes to say that cesarean births are the only civilized way to have children. It keeps your bits and pieces nice and tight and there's no sweating and screaming involved. She chose to deliver both of her children that way, not because of any medical need, simply for aesthetic reasons.

Ms. T continued our sessions up until the point of reaching her personal power and suddenly she stopped coming. For her to accept her personal power would alter her relationships, all of them, and I suspect that was more than she was ready to do. I hope she returns some day to complete our work or finds another way to reach her true nature. Maybe she already has.

How Old Is The Grand Canyon?

Well, that depends on who you ask. Scientists and geologists say it was created millions of years ago. Creationists say it was created a few thousand years ago during Noah's lifetime. Seriously. The employees of the park system have been ordered to answer any questions from visitors, regarding the age of the beautiful canyon, with, "No comment."

The book, compiled by Tom Vail, features colorful photographs of the canyon and essays reflecting a creationist's view of its development. "For years, as a Colorado River guide I told people how the Grand Canyon was formed over the evolutionary time scale of millions of years," writes Vail on the Web site of his Phoenix-based Canyon Ministries about the book. "Then I met the Lord. Now, I have `a different view' of the canyon, which, according to a biblical time scale, can't possibly be more than a few thousand years old."

I feel light headed. I may have to go lay down. This topic was brought to my attention yesterday while chatting with Susan Wyatt, Ph.D. She is teaching a class on Critical Thinking and is using this as an example of the opposite of critical thinking.

After our chat I did a Google search on the topic and have found information that fuels my view of the religious idiocy in this country.

The Haunting of Miss. M.

A very frightened girl sat across from me, in my office. Her frantic mother had called the night before looking for help for her daughter. Miss. M. is seventeen years old and has been unable to sleep in her own bed or even enter her own room, after dark, for approximately two months. She tried to keep the reason a secret because she was afraid that people would think she was losing her mind.

It started one night when she woke to the sound of a man’s voice. At first, she thought it was her mother’s boyfriend in the hallway, outside her room. On second thought, it didn’t sound like him at all, and it was coming from her closet. She couldn’t make out what he was saying, not the specific words, but the tone and whisper gave her chills. She was paralyzed with fear, afraid to move, afraid to speak, afraid to breathe. After several minutes she managed to slowly reach for the light switch. When the light came on, the voice was silenced. She knew there was no way someone was in her closet. It was very tiny and jammed packed with clothes, shoes and boxes of her things. There was barely room for one more hanger. She managed to get out of bed and open the closet door. It was exactly as she left it. She knew she wasn’t dreaming, she wasn’t hallucinating and it wasn’t her imagination, she was absolutely certain of that.

Ghost busting is not my thing, although I’ve had several cases of entities that, for a variety of reasons, deem it necessary to make uninvited contact with the living. In Ms. M’s case, the entity had not only made auditory contact, he began making physical contact, of a sexual nature. Over the course of two months he visited her regularly. He touched her and whispered things he wanted to do to her and things he wanted to have done to him.

I didn’t want to embarrass her with having to give me details about his requests, but I did want to know if his requests were things she was familiar with.

“I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re asking me.”

“Yes, that’s what I’m asking and more to the point, are the things he’s requesting you do or allow him to do to you, things you have experience with? He’s not asking you to do anything that would be considered dangerous or abnormal?”

“No. It’s just normal stuff.”

Again, without going into details of her sexual experiences, she said that the previous year she thought she was a sex addict. It scared her so she quit. She’d been abstinent from sex for over a year. That’s how she phrased it, “abstinent” like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict.

When I took her mother’s call, the night before our session, I tracked the energy she was talking about. I could see him and feel him. From the information I was getting, it didn’t feel dangerous or harmful but that depended on how Ms. M. was processing her experience. She didn’t feel she was being raped. There’s a big difference between and young girl without experience or knowledge being touched and one who is more than familiar with normal sexual activity.

So, here’s the deal. After our initial ‘interview’ I assured her that she was safe and that we could stop his visits immediately. But, before we did, I wanted her to see what it was she was doing that attracted the experience. The statement, “I’m a sex addict.” is a belief, an affirmation, a fixed idea, the vibration of which opens the door to more of the same. It is my one complaint with any twelve step program.

Oh dear….I have to run…..I’ll write more later….

Good morning, I'm back...

Okay, where did I leave it? Oh yeah. Fixed ideas and such. Miss. M. believed she was a sex addict. Her sister told her that the 'visitor' was a sex demon. I'm smiling as I write that. People have odd notions about the disembodied. Anyway, the truth about her ghost was that he was a young man, in his late teens or early twenties. He was obsessed with sex too, as many young men are. Unfortunately he had an accident and was killed quite suddenly. He was confused and unable to move through his death experience because he was fixated. I've seen this before. I explained that he is just a boy, or young man, not unlike her, who has found someone to play with. He believes he is a sex addict too. As soon as she gets out of her state of fear and can forgive him and herself we can let him pass.

I guided her through the process, which took no more than 30 minutes. Then I asked if I could see her bedroom. I followed her home which was situated on a corner right behind Montgomery High School. Her bedroom window faced the street, which faced the direction of the football field. Her bedroom was very small and jammed packed with girl stuff. The walls were covered with photos of friends and musicians. It was cluttered and messy but what stood out to me was the position of her bed and some ceramic skulls she had on her dresser. A Feng Shui nightmare. I walked her around the room and pointed to things and asked her what she felt when she looked at them. Was the energy high or low? We determined there were many objects that were attracting a low or negative vibration. I made some suggestions about clearing out some of those things and finally cleared the space and sealed it, energetically. Her room was then off limits to uninvited visitors. Her brother and sister were waiting in the family room. They knew why I was there and were curious and maybe a bit nervous about what to expect. I gave them the all clear sign, a smile and I left.

I ran into Miss. M. at Joe's yesterday. That's what prompted the blog post. I didn't recognise her. She bounced over and sat down right next to me with a big smile on her face. She looked fresh and happy and it took a few moments for me to place her. She said, "It's me, Melinda." Her face was clear and fresh, her hair light and shiny, her smile went from ear to ear. She brought me up to date on her life and her plans for a future career. She wants to go to massage school. She wants to do what I do. After she finishes school she's going to come to me for training and fine tuning her skills. I think she'll be a wonderful healer.

Another remodel project...

My friend John calls it busy work for the feeble minded. My constant desire to create something new, whether it is art, or decorating, or cooking, or gardening. I feel most excited when creating something new. I'm taking down the brick fireplace and putting up rock. I'm getting a new slip cover for the couch, a new coffee table, new blinds, and I'm painting one wall in the dining room. We've finally come to an agreement of what we want. I'm going to have a cabinet built to hold the new flat screen LCD television and Aunt Lucy's high back chairs are going to the highest bidder or Goodwill. I'm so glad we have finalized a plan. This picture is not the size of my fireplace by any means but it shows the style of rock we're getting. I think I can do the project myself. I'm a project girl, for sure!

Judge Not

“See yourself in others, then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do?” -- The Buddha

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” -- Jesus

“No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.” -- Mohammed

“Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you.” -- Mahabharata (a Hindu)

“What I do not wish men to do to me, I also wish not to do to them.” -- Confuscious

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” -- Philo of Alexandria (a Jew)

“Can true humility and compassion exists in our words and eyes unless we know we, too, are capable of any act?” -- St. Francis of Assisi

America Has A New Show

Great Britian has exported a television show for Americans and it can be seen on the SCI-FI channel. It's called "Mind Control with Derren Brown". If you don't think you are being influenced by what you are watching, reading, hearing....you'll be astonished! Check it out.

Have California Pedestrians Gone Stupid With Power?

If you do a Google search for 'California pedestrians' you will find a list of Attorney's. Our state legislators passed a law that gives pedestrians the right of way no matter if they are in a crosswalk or not. If they walk out from between two cars, right in front of oncoming traffic, traffic must stop. Of course, you'd think, "well of course traffic should stop....you don't want to kill anyone." This law has created a slew of attorneys primed to sue anyone injured by a moving vehicle, whether it was the drivers fault or not. Still, you might think that sounds like sound legislation. However, it has been my experience, since January, that people will walk out in front of your car without regard to their safety or yours because they believe the law protects them. A lot of good that will do if you're dead but what do I know?

Last night I was backing out of a parking space and I was half way out when a man and his wife walked right behind my car. I know they saw me backing out, they didn't care, because they have power now. He didn't seem to care that my car was there first, I was backing out, it could be dangerous, he knew the law. He stepped out in the path of a car, in the dark, without warning. I rolled down my window, because I'm that kinda woman, and I asked him why he would endanger himself and his woman by walking behind a car that was backing up, and in the dark no less. He said, "Pedestrians have the right of way! Where'd you get your license?" I swear the power has gone to our heads! I don't know about you, but if I'm walking in a parking lot and a car is backing up I would never walk behind it unless I was suicidal.

So, if you plan on coming to California, beware of the pedestrian!

Bourne Stupidity

It's Friday night and I just returned from the 7:15 showing of a newly released movie. I sat next to a 5 year old boy who was there with his mother and father to see the R rated movie, "Bourne Ultimatum", nearly two hours of intense and constant violence and murder.

Hasn't there been enough studies about the effect of these images on the little, open minds of children? What decisions was he making while eating his popcorn and watching men shooting each other? It makes me wonder what people are thinking.


Whether or not exposure to media violence causes increased levels of aggression and violence in young people is the perennial question of media effects research. Some experts, like University of Michigan professor L. Rowell Huesmann, argue that fifty years of evidence show "that exposure to media violence causes children to behave more aggressively and affects them as adults years later." Others, like Jonathan Freedman of the University of Toronto, maintain that "the scientific evidence simply does not show that watching violence either produces violence in people, or desensitizes them to it."

From Media Awareness Network

Old Hermosa Beach

Much of this stretch of Hermosa Beach is about to change. Boots died last week. He was 85 years old and owned the property from Good Stuff to The Mermaid and up Pier Avenue almost to Hermosa Avenue. Also the owner of Scotty's died and the owner of Sea Sprite is selling off several beach front properties. I'm afraid old Hermosa Beach is about to experience a major transformation. I sure hope the city officials and the residents who will inevitably vote for a new beach front plan will try to preserve the old feel of Hermosa.

And for those of you who may remember Uncle Bills restuarant, a Manhattan Beach landmark and my father's favorite breakfast place since the 60s, is also prime for change. The owner also passed away last week. Change is coming.

Sibling Abuse

Nobody talks about sibling abuse. On daytime shows, like "Oprah" you'll hear stories of parental sexual abuse and incest, or spousal abuse and stalking but nobody ever talks about sibling abuse. Some people think that brothers and sisters fight and that it's normal and to a certain extent that is true. But what happens when it goes beyond normal bickering and into rage and torment?

I read an article in "Time" magazine about college age girls and boys who were abused and teased relentlessly by their brothers and sisters. It appeared that they were at a significantly higher risk for depression and learning disabilities.

I remember being teased to the point of hysteria. My older sisters loved to make me cry when I was three and four years old. They told me I was thrown away by my 'real' parents and that Mom and Dad found me in a garbage pail. They only kept me because they felt sorry for me. They had evidence, in fact. I was the only one with brown eyes and the only one with dark colored hair. They would repeat it and repeat it until I collapsed in tears. If they could make me cry before breakfast they knew it would be a good day.

So, here's the deal. I decided I was unworthy of love. I felt abandoned even though the story was untrue. I made decisions about my value and my position in the family because of the repeated episodes of 'teasing'.

A few years ago, a relationship I was in, ended abruptly. One day we were going to live happily ever after and the next day it was over. There were no warning signs and no talks, just "I can't do this, I'm sorry" The first thing I thought was that I was being thrown away. Those taunting words from forty years earlier were in my head.

As I shared in the last post, the decisions we make early on in our lives reassert themselves into our present time relationships.

client is here...be back soon.

I'm back...

So, as I was saying.... Present day relationships, including our relationships with ourselves, are determined by our previous beliefs, fixed ideas, decisions and experiences. And wouldn't you know, this last client was a perfect example.

In the last few moments of her massage she asked me if I could 'see' anything that might of interest to her. I looked into the space where all memories and experiences are held and I saw a tree. It was a very large tree with a huge trunk and roots spreading out on and in the ground. She was a little girl playing under the tree with a little boy. He was bigger than she was, perhaps a few years older. They were playing a chasing game. Around and around they went, until she tripped on one of the roots and fell hard injuring her back. She screamed and cried and looked to this boy for help. After all, he was a big boy and from her perspective, he should have been able to pick her up and give her aid. He didn't. He just looked at her and watched her cry. He didn't run for help, he didn't say anything, he stood there watching her cry. From that experience she made some decisions about males. "They aren't helpful, they don't take care of her, they aren't nurturing, she's on her own, she'll have to take care of herself, are just some of the fixed ideas that developed from that one experience. When I shared that with her she almost laughed. I asked her if that sounded familiar and she said, "Oh yes. As a matter of fact, that came up just yesterday in my relationship with my husband."

Keep in mind, all relationships are a co-creation. Each of us bringing our side of the equation for the experience to be complete. Therefore, what are the beliefs and fixed ideas her husband must have in order for that conflict to take place?
Of course it's not important to concern yourself with what your partner is creating, only what your part in it is.

Here's another client's scenario. She came in for a reading last January. The first thing I saw was her in a wedding veil. I asked her if she was getting married. She looked at me like I was out to lunch. "No." Hmmm. "Really?"
I looked again and there she was, in a wedding veil. She was happily laughing and being carried in the arms of a handsome man. I asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Again, the face. "No." ....Okay...so I looked again and there it was. She's being carried up a mountain by this strong and rugged man. She's wearing cut-off jeans and hiking boots but she's carrying a bouquet and still wearing a veil. The message I was getting is that whoever this guy is, he's nearby and by summer she was going to be in a relationship with him and having loads of fun.

Well, here it is summer and last week she came in again for a session. She has met him and at first glance they fell head over heals. They're having a ball, she loves his 5 year old son, she loves him...but....sometimes he's mean and she doesn't know if he's the one or do I see someone else or what's going on.

This is what I saw about how they relate to each other. They start out having a great time, then he says something with a tone in his voice that reminds her of her father and how her father used to talk to her mother. They used to get into horrible arguments when she was very little. Sometimes those arguments got violent. She swore she would never, never let a man talk to her or treat her like that. When her boyfriend uses a certain tone with her, she gets defensive and tells him that they need to talk.

When he was a little boy, his father abandoned his mother and him and forever his mother blamed him for her lot in life. No matter what was going on, it was his fault. He became very defensive and swore he would ....never let a woman blame him for how she feels.

Oh dear....see the mess we make with our fixed ideas? Does this mean they can't work it out? On the contrary. It is perfect that they are together to work it out. If she leaves this guy she'll just end up with another one to dance this dance and it will continue with the same steps and rhythm as the last. He will too.

Back to sibling abuse. Most of the fights my sisters and I got into were normal aguments over who wore who's sweater and who's turn was it to wash the dishes. We were a normal family, for the most part. What we did know, and this was certain, was that we might temporarily hate a sister but if a neighborhood friend said anything against her, we'd kick their ass. We stuck together, and we protected and defended each other. That's normal. But when the teasing becomes torture, when the fighting becomes violent, I would hope parents not look at it as 'kids just being kids'. The damage can haunt a person for a lifetime.

The stories I could tell you about sibling abuse would ruin your day, so I won't. Not my stories, mind you, but stories from clients who suffer the emotional and psychic scars for their whole lives, that is, until they find a healer. >grins<

Lovely With a Capital L

A 30 year-old, successful engineer and single woman came in for guidance and counseling. She said she was suffering from almost compulsive, obsessive thinking about a relationship she knew was wrong for her, yet she seemed unable to let it go. Her therapist of eight months has told her she has to let go of this man and another one from her past if she is to find peace. But, after many months of struggling with her anxiety, she seemed to be getting worse instead of better. Her friends referred her to my office for help.

L. is a beautiful woman. She is tall, lean, fit with long lovely blond hair and a perfect complexion. Her energy was very scrambled and expanded and I noticed she had a hard time breathing because of the stress she was feeling.
I let her talk for about ten minutes then suggested we begin the healing with some deep breathing and a little relaxation exercise. During the guided session I took a look at what energy was around her. I saw her father and her mother as the source of the issue, as usual. That didn't take a psychic to figure out. I suspect any first year psychology student could have asked a few more questions and come to that conclusion. I also saw that she actually had three men who were pursuing her.

When she opened her eyes, her breathing was slow and relaxed. Her eyes were focused and she was very present. I shared with her what I had seen. I explained to her how her past experiences, memories, decisions and fixed ideas and beliefs were filters that were distorting her perception of her present circumstances. The three men I saw were not what she believes them to be and that her relationship with her father was the reason she couldn't see them as they are. I also had seen her, as a little girl, deciding her future, and so much of what she decided back then was causing her anxiety today. She had established a life timetable and it was time, in her unconscious mind, to choose one of these men and get married. It didn't matter that they were not appropriate men for her. She was trying to choose against her instincts and that is what was creating her anxiety and fear. Fear to choose and fear not to choose. Man-o-man, that'll sure put your head in a confused and chaotic scramble. She was like a hamster in an exercise wheel, running as fast as she could and getting nowhere.

I decided to do bodywork with L, massage and Reiki, and I used guided imagery to assist her in the introduction to her Higher Self. We worked through the energy of her chakras and used Avatar techniques to discreate preconceived impressions that were getting in the way of her perfect vision.

We finished the session with The Book of Runes and, as always, she was guided to the one that spoke to the heart of her issue. She was amazed.

I asked her how she was feeling and she answered with two words. "Peaceful and clear."

The entire session took 90 minutes. She booked another session in two weeks and left here with the insight and tools she needed to move out of anxiety and into a peaceful presence.

I'm looking forward to our next session to see how her relationships have shifted. I'll keep you posted on her progress.

Karen W.

A 42 year-old, divorced woman, suffering from severe tension headaches, called for an appointment for bodywork. She said she believed her headaches were the result of a very high pressure job as an in the aerospace industry. Her executive position required her to travel to Washington D.C. regularly for meetings with government representatives and military personnel. On top of her stressful career responsibilities she was in a dramatic legal battle, with her ex-husband, for the custody of her two young boys. Her husband believed their boys should attend the fundamental Christian school were he was an acting bishop. His corporal punishment philosophy of child rearing was the source of her emotional pain. Her boys were ordered, by the judge, to be evaluated by a child psychologist. She had received the first report of many to come.

My primary intention was to relieve her headaches and to see what came up during our first session. Using massage, Reiki and acupressure techniques her pain was easily relieved. What came up during that first session was more than I expected.

My bodywork office is kept dark, lit by candles and the only sounds in the room are from a small water fountain, soft ethereal music and my voice. Using guided imagery, I talked her through a series of relaxation exercises to get her head out of the courtroom and boardroom and into the present experience. She followed easily.

Halfway through her session I recognized a presence in the room with us. I continued working on her tension points while observing the spirit at the foot of the massage table.

When someone comes in for bodywork, I rarely discuss the other work I do. But, in this case, I decided it was something I should try to bring to her attention, without freaking her out. I trust that if a spirit shows up, the client is usually ready to hear the information and as it turned out, Karen was open and willing to hear it all.

I described the energy I was seeing. As I’ve shared before, I am clairvoyant. I see images and get information telepathically. After describing the female spirit at the end of the table, Karen said, “That’s my mother. She died 12 years ago.” Her mother had been agitated when she first appeared but as soon as her daughter recognized her presence, she relaxed with a smile. I don’t recall the details of that first session with Karen and her mother but I do remember that when Karen left my office she was radiant. Her headache was gone; she said she felt relaxed and hopeful.

During the following weeks and months Karen and her mother continued their weekly sessions with me. I learned that Karen had met a man in Washington D.C. she was falling in love with but her divorce had left her feeling unsure and distrusting. The relationship was loving yet she felt unable to move forward considering the geographic distance, the issue of her boys and her unrelenting fear of another commitment. She was troubled about what to do with this new relationship. Should she break it off or grit her teeth and move forward?


During the fourth session, Karen’s mother appeared wearing a black scarf over her head and face, as if she was in mourning. That is not how she appeared in our past sessions as she was normally a happy energy. She told me that she wanted to talk about her death. I asked Karen about that. She told me that her mother had had an accident. She died from an accidental fall down some stairs in her home. While she told me the facts her father had told her, Karen’s mother was vehemently shaking her head, “NO”. Her father had said her mother had been up late and sometime after he had gone to sleep she must have tripped and fallen down a flight of stairs. He said he discovered her body when he woke the next morning.

The story Karen’s mother showed me was slightly different. She showed me the entire incident. Her father and mother were at the top of the stairs arguing. She had been drinking and was pointing her finger at him. He pushed her away from him and she tumbled backwards and down the stairs. He ran down after her. She was still breathing, but unconscious. He was afraid of what had happened and how it would look to the authorities. He didn’t’ know what to do. He paced back and forth trying to decide what to do. He chose to wait until she stopped breathing. It took a bit of time but by 4 am she was gone. At sunrise he called the police.

I watched the story unfold as Mother was showing me. I wasn’t sure if I should tell Karen what I was seeing but, I believe if I’m being shown something, there is a reason. I very slowly suggested that dad’s story may not have been the whole truth.

Karen said, “That wouldn’t surprise me at all. Dad’s behavior after Mom died was very strange. He has not moved a thing of hers from the house. Everything is exactly as it was the day she died. Her clothes are still in the closets, her art on the walls, and all of her furniture is still in the same place. The first couple of years after her death he would go to the cemetery, to her grave site, and take pictures of himself there and send copies to all three of his daughters.

I asked her if she wanted to know what her mother was showing me. She didn’t hesitate to answer. She wanted to know everything.

After I finished telling her what I was being shown, she said that she had suspected as much all along. She also said it was unnecessary to share that information with anyone else. Her father had been suffering with grief and guilt for all these years and bringing it up now would do only harm. She was able to forgive her father immediately. She explained that her parent’s relationship had suffered through the years because of her mother’s drinking. Every night her father would go to bed at 10, alone, and mother would stay up reading and drinking. That scenario had been the source of many arguments. Her mother nodded in agreement and didn’t seem to need any more than the truth to be told to Karen.

Weeks passed and we continued our sessions. Massage and Intuitive Healing went hand in hand. One day Mother showed up during our session and she had with her a box. She told me its contents were extremely important. The box looked like a sewing basket with a hinged lid. The top of the box had fabric on it. When her mother opened the box she did not show me what was inside but conveyed the urgency for Karen to find it.

Again, I described the box and the message. I told her I wasn’t able to see the contents but that her mother seemed to be insistent about its importance. Karen said that she didn’t know of such a box but that if it mother had anything like I described, it would still be in her father’s home in Georgia. As it turned out, she was flying back for a visit the following day. She said she would ask her father about it.

Three days later I received a long distance call from Karen. She was in a state of emotional gratitude. She told me that she and her father looked in every closet and cupboard for the box I described. They searched every room including the attic. They went down to the basement and back in a corner, under the fabric I described, was the box. Inside of it were letters and notes in her mother’s handwriting. She had written poems and had jotted down notes from services at her church. She wrote about love and trust and faith. She wrote about commitment, communion and God. In those notes and letters were the answers to the questions that Karen was struggling with, in regard to her new relationship and her fear of moving forward with her life and her love.

A month later I received a package in the mail with a personal note from Karen. She said finding those letters and notes of her mother's was an enormous gift for her, her sisters and entire family. It was the healing they were all waiting for. Karen had put all of her mothers writings in a bound book and sent copies to her sisters and friends of her mother’s and one to me. Our sessions came to an end shortly thereafter.

Karen won her custody case and decided to follow her mother’s written advice to trust and to love. She married Bob and moved to Washington. Her mother’s poetry was read at their wedding ceremony. She no longer suffers from headaches. It truly was a miraculous experience.

I don't know if what I see are spiritual apparitions or energy held in the consciousness of my clients. Whatever I am seeing, whether from this dimension or another, it is healing for all involved, including myself.

James Van Praagh is a psychic/medium. He is well known in the field of paranormal talents. He wrote the book, "Talking To Heaven" and is the producer of the television show, "Ghost Whisperer". I'm flying to Mount Shasta in two weeks to meet him for a retreat on "Mediumship and Healing With Spirit". I am very excited to be able to talk to other healers and mediums who understand what I do. You can be sure I will write all about it when I return.

It's all in the phrasing.

Affirmations are a powerful tool to use to get your head out of habitual thinking patterns. However, the phrasing of such needs to be precise and positive, and present tense. I've heard affirmations that went on and on and I wondered how in the world a person could remember it all.

Keep it simple. Keep it positive.

I am radiant health.
I am Source.
I am happy to be me.

Here's one I used to use: "The love and power of God flows through me and draws to me all that I need to make my life happy and complete."

"The Law of Abundance is acting in my life now."

"I am joyful, peaceful, and loving."

"My relationships grow in intimacy and honesty."

"I feel beautiful and sexy."

When your monkey brain goes off on a tangent about the El Pollo Loco cashier or the rudeness of people in service positions....(as does my little monkey brain from time to time) reel yourself back to the position and experience you prefer.

Take ten deep and fast deep breaths to energize your body with the statements of your affirmations. Ten deep breaths and "I am loving and accepting." or "I am peaceful and present." Say the affirmation a few times and feel the words soak into every cell until you experience the meaning of them.

My El Pollo experience last Sunday was a test of my patience. I was picking up picnic food for our gathering at the beach concert. By the way, next Sunday is a Doors tribute band that is outstanding and because it is the last concert of the season, there will be a fireworks display afterwards.

Back to my test. I pulled up behind a car in the drive-thru and another car pulled in behind me. We all sat there for ten minutes without moving an inch. I finally turned off my engine and began the monkey brain dialog. "Shit! I'm going to be late. There won't be any place to park and I'm going to have to carry my chair and blankets and basket for miles. What the hell is taking so long?" Blah blah blah. I was tempted to honk my horn, as if that would do any good. I was all worked up. By the time I rolled forward to the speaker to order I was all riled up. So I said, "It's taking a long time. Is everthing okay in there?" She said they had a system problem but it was being taken care of then asked for my order. She didn't say she was sorry for the delay, just wanted to get things ordered to move on. I ordered chicken, lots of chicken and a chocolate shake. Then sat for another ten minutes. Finally when I got to the window, I paid the girl and she handed me my bag of chicken and a shake. There was no apology for the long wait and, frankly, her attitude seemed that she and her friends were having fun and it didn't matter what was going on with the customers. I drove away and took a sip of the shake. It was vanilla. I hate vanilla. I turned the car around, parked it, and went inside. Instead of breathing deeply and calming myself, I handed another girl the container and said, "This is supposed to be chocolate, it's vanilla." She said, "We're out of chocolate."

I said, why didn't she tell me that when I ordered it?"

She said, "She didn't know we were out."

Now my voice became loud enough for the entire staff in the kitchen to hear me. "When I got to the window she should have said, 'we're out of chocolate would you like vanilla?' Instead of just handing out a vanilla in hopes I wouldn't notice? That nuts. Do you get that?" I looked at the staff of girls, nobody over 20 years old, and they had nothing to say. They stood there frozen. Here's the kicker.

"Would you like your money back?"

"What do you think?"

It took three of them to figure out how to give me my money back.

This scenario is a recurrent one for me. I don't know about you, but my experience is that good customer service has fallen the way of the hula hoop. You just don't see it anymore.

So, if it is a recurrent experience for me, what is the mirror? Yes, folks, that's the question I have to ask myself when I get into a snit. What's the mirror? Otherwise it wouldn't continue to appear in my reality and it wouldn't have been such an angry making scene.

The drive back to the beach gave me the opportunity to figure it out. I had to look back at the service I gave in my years as a food server and there it was. I got fired from a job for giving such poor service. I was embarrassed to admit it to anyone. I was always showing up late and had an attitude. There's the mirror. I lied about it to friends and family because I felt ashamed of the job I did. I kept that a secret. That was 32 years ago and the shadow of it keeps falling across my path to give me the opportunity to bring the truth into the light and forgive myself. It's much easier, or so it would seem, to continue to bitch and complain about the young, thoughtless servers than to look in the mirror. I could bitch and complain making me feel like I'm better, smarter, whatever.

In the ten minute drive to the beach I went from pissed to pleasant because I was willing to look in the mirror and forgive myself.

"I am willing and ready to see the truth of who I am." (even if the truth hurts)

"I grow and expand my awareness in every experience."

"I am a spiritual warrior."