Mel

Mel Lewin is a psychologist, a very successful psychologist, with two offices. He has one in Palos Verdes, California and one in Mammoth Lakes, California, at least he did the last time we spoke. I owe a great deal to Mel. He was a very patient man at a time when I was stuck in the middle of an experience I couldn't see my way out of. I was very depressed. This was before pharmaceuticals had been created to treat that kind of chemical imbalance. All we had in the olden days (1978) was exercise and journal to shift energy. Every week I would would cry to Mel about how depressed I was. My husband was with someone new, my daughter was only 3 years old, I had left my job to save my marriage, I didn't know which way to turn but to him, the man I thought could save me. Each week he would tell me to walk briskly to create the endorphins to make me feel better and to journal my feelings and experiences to bring clarity,and each week I would say, "I can't! I'm too depressed" I would bemoan my life, my circumstances and play the part, and quite well I might add, as the perpetual victim of life. I was a mess. Week after week I would show up to his office and cry about how desperate I was feeling. I told him every detail of my life. Every story from my past and present that had any darkness or doom was described and cried over. Every week he would ask the same two questions. "Are you walking?" and "Are you journaling?"
And every week I would say, "No! I'm too depressed."

Finally, three months into this treatment, I found myself on the brink of a breakdown. It was Christmas Eve. I was broke. I had gained 30 pounds and had nothing to wear to the family festivities. I knew I would have to face my sisters, my cousins, my aunts and uncles and answer the inevitable questions about my husband, his girlfriend, my jobless situation, and of course the dreaded comments about my obvious ugly fatness. I couldn't bring myself to go. I was crying and carrying on and decided I needed to call Mel. I put in an emergency message to his service and waited by the phone for his return call. It came immediately. It went something like this.

"Hello Elizabeth. This is Dr. Lewin. What's going on?"

"Oh, Dr. Lewin. I'm so upset. It's Christmas Eve and I'm supposed to go to a family party. I'm so depressed I can't stand it. I don't know what to do."

"Have you walked?"

"NO!"

"Have you started to journal?"

"NO!"

"Well, Elizabeth, you must like to feel this way because you aren't doing anything to change it. Have a nice holiday and I'll see you next week in my office."
And the bastard hung up!

I was shocked. How could he abandon me in my moment of need? Wasn't he supposed to save me? Wasn't he supposed to make me feel better? Wasn't he the one with the answers?

Then, slowly, his words began to sink in and I began to laugh. I swear to you, I laughed. I got it. It was the moment that I realized that nobody can vibrate for me. Nobody can change how I feel but me. I was the cause and the creator of my experience and I had the tools to turn the tide on the dark feelings. I was choosing not to use them.

I went to my room and shifted through my clothes. I found something to wear and I set an intention to go to the party and have a good time. Not one person said a word about my ex-husband or my new look. Not one person asked me about my job search. Everyone was celebrating Christmas, family, good food, good music and I felt loved.

Mel did me a great service that night. He enabled me to feel for myself. That was the beginning of a whole new life for me. The following month I was in school, on a new path, exercising, journal and meditating my way back into the light. I felt like a new woman with a few weeks.

When my clients tell me they don't have time to script or they don't have time to use the perceptual shift log or the positive evidence journal, I remember Mel. I am patient and kind and give them the space they need to find the truth.

My class is 24 weeks long for a reason. There is plenty of time to process and practice and walk up the vibrational tone scale, into the light.