Fear of Change

One of the biggest threats to the ego is change. We often say we want change but when the change begins to manifest, our ego throws up some pretty good blows to that wanting. We may hear it out of the mouths of our friends or spouses in the form of covert manipulations. "Oh Honey, Now that you're down to a size 10 surely you can have a piece of cheesecake." Or, "You've been sober for six months now, surely you're not an alcoholic. One drink shouldn't hurt. You deserve it." Or, more openly....."Ever since you've been working on your degree the house looks like hell and you're neglecting me." Basically, "You're changing and growing and I'm scared. You may not find me interesting anymore. You might outgrow me. Please go back and be the person I can fit in the box I've built for you."

Sometimes friends will begin to feel competitive with your new found spiritual awareness and epiphanies. They will find ways to put you down without coming right out and saying how they're feeling. They may point out your mistakes, your failed or unfinished projects. They may find it necessary to tell you what you should do, or point out how you could have done something better, in a way that sounds like constructive criticism but, of course, is hardly camouflaged. They may interrupt you to tell you how they read about that years ago or they've "been there done that." It's the old one-up-manship game. The fear is the same. "You are changing and growing, and I'm afraid you'll stop loving me."

The inner dialog might run along the lines of this self sabotaging plan..."This is hard work. I can't do this. Who am I kidding? I'd rather go shopping. Maybe I can distract myself with a phone call or a game of solitaire. I know! Instead of doing my homework tonight, I'll go to the movies and then get up early in the morning and do it."

Are you afraid of outgrowing your friends and lovers? Are you afraid that the old way of chatting or gossiping or simply the old conversational subjects will no longer satisfy the new expanded version of YOU? You may be right. You may find that talking about the mundane, everyday subjects bore you when there's all this new stuff out there that you've now become aware of. There's a huge universe of ideas and experiences that you want to share with your family and friends and maybe they don't share the same excitement or reality. They may not care to think or talk about spiritual matters or want to believe that you've learned to feel energies and communicate with them and manage them. It may just freak them out.

Then what?

You're bored with the old way of chatting and gossiping and they're not ready for prime time expanded spiritual communication. Does that mean that all of your friends will become your 'old' friends and you'll have to go out and make a whole new set of friends? Or find a new husband/wife'/lover?


Not at all.

Certainly, embarking on a spiritual journey to your own enlightenment will spark shifts in your relationships but that doesn't mean the shifts are not part of your intended relationships. If you are being drawn to the books, classes, spiritual coaches, retreats and seminars about working with intuitive energies, then it is time for you to stretch. And whoever or whomever is in your circle of friends or partnerships are part of that change whether they are consciously aware of it or not. The changes and shifts can be contagious. The mirrors in every conversation are opportunities for your growth. Even the apparent mundane topics have value in that they provide the fodder for your inner awareness to use for the lessons still to be learned. Life becomes humorous and what relationship can't use a little humor? Dramatic subjects that used to make you crazy and negatively emotional take on a different hue. Your response to other people's attempts at control and manipulation no longer conjure up fear and resentment but patience and tolerance. You see the fear that motivates their desire and, as a more enlightened being, you find that responding with a vibration of love quells any upheavals.


to be continued....