Death By Suicide

The call came last week, from Washington D.C. His soul mate, and friend, took a shot gun, put it to his head and pulled the trigger. That was two weeks ago.

"Can you help me understand what happened and why he didn't call me? Is it too soon to contact him and if we do, will that prevent him from moving on? I'm so confused and angry and sad and mostly I feel guilty. I feel like I should have known what he was planning but I had no idea. I really want to be able to ask him. My friend told me to call you. Can you help me?"

The conversation lasted twenty minutes. I answered the questions I could, I explained what I know, and we scheduled a phone session for later in the week. I asked him to prepare his questions and call me back on Tuesday at 6PM PST.

Interestingly, I was not available that night. He called but I wasn't able to answer the phone. He had set up a space for the call, turned off his television, lit a candle and began to clean up the space around him.

The next day I called him and apologized for not being there at our scheduled time and he said it turned out to be perfect timing. He had the opportunity to create a sacred space and for the first time in months, felt peaceful. (There are no accidents)

Our session lasted 90 minutes. The spirit of his friend arrived early and not alone. He has been assigned a very strong teacher, like a drill sergeant, to help him through his transition. Here is his story.

He came in and sat in the chair opposite mine. Standing near and above him was his teacher. He began to sob and held his head in his hands. Of course, the energy around his head was very scattered but he knew where he was and why. He's been allowed to see what he left behind in order for him to recognize the consequences of his choice. He was very sad, very sorry for the pain his mother and family were experiencing because of him. To see it all has been hell for him.

I watched him as he expressed his sorrow and regrets. He was tall, with a beautiful body. I couldn't tell what his face had looked like but I knew he must have been a handsome man. I was told later that, in fact, he was a model, an actor and the cat's meow. What went wrong with this poor soul?

They showed me a time when he was about 7 years old, when he experienced a psychic wound. His father died after many years of alcohol abuse and a serious gambling addiction. His son was left to carry his open wound throughout his life and was never again the same. By the time he was in high school he started using street drugs and alcohol and that's when the real damage began. His brain was badly affected. After many years of abuse, he was diagnosed with a bi-polar disorder and severe depression. Add to his addiction, prescription drugs, and it was down hill from there. Down, down, and down some more, until he thought he would never be able to climb out of the hole he had fallen into. He lost all hope and decided it would be easier if he could just get out of his body. Oooops! Wrong again.

My client affirmed that, yes, indeed, his friend's father died when he was only seven or eight years old, and that yes, he had a drug problem and a mental illness. He asked if there was anything he could have done to save his friend. The answer was, no.

Before the reading began, I explained that he was to think of our session as a conference call. His friend can hear his questions and his words as if he was on an extension. He felt free to say to him what he needed and ask what he wanted. We had a three-way conversation that turned into a wonderful healing, not only for my client, but for his friend in the spirit world, as well. I watched him change from a sobbing, sad and guilty soul and slowly take on the love and forgiveness that was being offered. He began to take on a lighter, brighter energy and at one point I saw him smile at a memory that was being shared.

By the time our session was coming to an end, both of them were at peace. Both of them felt elevated and ready to let go. It was a beautiful session...

Suicide is a sin. I know, I never talk about sin. But, the word "sin" is an Old English archery term meaning, "Off the mark." It doesn't mean, "Booga Booga you're going to hell for eternity." Hell is a state of consciousness. It is painful, as painful as any emotional trauma you can imagine. But, it lasts only as long as one chooses to stay in that emotion. I suppose, for some, that can last many lifetimes. That is the importance of faith. To have faith that all conditions are temporary and that all circumstances do, indeed, shift and evolve, when you allow yourself to shift and evolve, is the miracle remedy. It may take two years to recover or two days, or two centuries. But, if you are masking your state of mind with drugs, alcohol or any other addictions, you will stunt your spiritual and emotional growth, which slows the shift and evolution of your soul to the pace of a snail. However, if you've ever watched a snail....he does eventually get to where he is headed. So, too, for the wounded soul of suicide.