Changing Roles

My 88 year old mother took a fall on Saturday while out for her morning walk. Her toe clipped the edge of the concrete apron from the street to the sidewalk. She fell onto her shoulder and elbow and bumped her head. A wonderful man saw her fall and immediately pulled his car over and got out to help her up. She was shaken and afraid but managed to walk the half block home.

I was in my office, on the phone with a client, when she came through the front door. I heard her panicked voice call out for me. I escorted to her my patio and sat her down for a quick evalution. I could see a small scrape on her shoulder and a very small cut on her elbow. Nothing was bleeding, there was not even a bump on her head. She thought maybe she had cracked a rib. I asked her to inhale as deeply as she could and she was able to do that easily. I said, "You're fine Mom. You're going to be sore though. Let's get some ice and Advil and I'll give you a massage. You're going to have to take it easy for a few days." (After all, this is what I've done for a living for 30 years.) And, of course, she wanted to go to the hospital for X-Rays. I tried to explain to her that I didn't think it was neccessary but she wasn't going to listen to me. Dementia is a terrible thing.
I cancelled the rest of my day and took her to see a doctor. After four hours the doctor said, "You're fine. No broken bones but you're going to be sore. Use ice packs and take Advil for pain. You're going to need to rest for the next few days."

The doctor also told me that I need to be more firm with her. She's like a child now. I must insist that she do the things I know are best for her. This is new territory for me, telling my mother to mind me. It's not easy being the one to watch her food intake and monitor her medicine. Now I must not only remind her to take her daily dose of Metamucil but I have to mix it and give it to her and watch her take it. Her mental abilities are declining rapidly. She loses her glasses three times a day and asks me what I did with them. I have explained, of course, that her perscription is for reading and mine is for televsion and driving. It doesn't matter. She frets and worries about the bank statements because she doesn't understand them anymore. She has hundreds of thousands of dollars but thinks she's broke. She looks in her purse for her house key but insists the one she finds there isn't it. When I explain these things to her ....she sometimes looks at me and says, "You're going to get tired of this and put me away." I always say, "Never. As long as I have a breath in my body, I'm here for you. You never gave up on me, I'll never give up on you. What goes around, comes around." It makes her feel better, until the next episode. I hope I can keep my promise. She's so afraid of going to a facility for people in her condition.

Our neighbor told me that she ran into my mother last week when I was in Phoenix. My mother asked her when I would be home. Of course she had no idea I was even gone. My sisters are supposed to be watching her when I travel but they sometimes just call on the phone to remind her to take her pills without coming to check to see if she actually did.

It's time I find a support group for people in my situation.

My script for today:

"I have an enormous capacity for strength and patience. I am Grace and Love and today I want to amplify and activate all the powerful beliefs and energies to maintain my calm and focused attention for my mother, for myself and for all of my clients and students. There is nothing I cannot do, be or have. Universal Love and Intelligence flow through me and draw to me all that I need to make my life happy and complete. I know this is so, and so it is."