Be Careful What You Ask For

Spirit has a sense of humor, I'm sure you know. Sometimes I don't find my Spirit Guides to be all that funny, until after a few days of introspection...even then, you may not find me laughing at all.

As each year comes to a close, I usually take time to evaluate the passing year and my behaviors and perspectives, my successes and my failures. I look at my weaknesses and my strengths and I sometimes beat myself up for what I am not. That doesn't mean I do anything to change it...I just simply punish myself for not being a better person, a more responsible grown-up, a more enlightened individual, a more humble servant of God. I fail more than succeed in that department. It's not that I don't want to be a better human being, I just don't want it to be a hard job. LOL It's like I want to be a concert pianist but I don't want to practice, and in fact, never buy the piano. I want to run a marathon but I never put on my running shoes. I want to be a success in my practice, but....I don't really want to advertise, market myself, or write the content for my website. I want to be an author, but I seldom spend time on the books I've begun. I want all my bills paid in a timely manner, but I never seem to get to them in time. I desire a loving relationship but refuse to date.

I am a right-brained individual. I am intuitive, creative, a dreamer, a romantic, an aspiring free spirit without a fully developed left-brain. I am a rebel without a cause. I am irresponsible and a flagrantly defiant citizen. There are laws I don't agree with and rules I refuse to follow. I don't want anyone telling me what to do and I am a non-compliant patient. I am my own worst client!

I decided, at the ripe old age of 56, that it is time I develop my left brain and step into the role of being my own personal assistant. I decided it was time to clean up my past behaviors and mistakes and take responsibility for my finances, my health and my well-being. I scripted a couple of weeks ago for Spirit to assist me in releasing old habits and patterns that were impeding my growth and my more expanded success. Then, as my usual pattern, I did nothing to clean up old garbage that was cluttering my life. Oh I cleaned house, and organized drawers and decorated the house beautifully, (busy work for the feeble minded as John has said) I threw out old junk and sold or gave away the rest. I cleared my space for the new year and the new life I was preparing for. I got new tires and brakes, renewed my auto insurance, registered my car, (albeit four months late). But the big ones, the heavy burdens I've been avoiding for years, I left untouched, unexamined, hidden-away in the baggage I carry everyday.

Spirit, in its infinite wisdom, provided me a growth opportunity in the form of a two-by-four right between the eyes. You see, I registered my car at AAA where I am a member. I was told to fax my proof of insurance to the DMV and return to pick up my sticker. Well, I faxed the proof and skipped step number three. I headed to Phoenix for my long traveling month. Now, here's the kicker. 12 years ago, I drove to Tucson Arizona for a family emergency. Not my family, my boyfriend, Zorro's family. On our way out of Arizona I received a speeding ticket. I was to appear at the Quartzite Court to handle it, but, instead, I thought to myself...."Self? What does it matter? You're never going back to Arizona. Screw it!" I never forgot about the ticket, although I'd like to pretend I forgot. In fact, I never forgot and it hung over my head for years. When my daughter moved to Phoenix I knew I should take care of it, but.....never got around to it. Well...you see where I am headed here, right?

The Highway Patrol pulled in behind me on Wednesday afternoon. He turned on his lights to signal me to pull over. I knew immediately why. My license plate was lacking that little sticker. He checked his computer and in fact, my car was not registered. I skipped step number three, remember? Step number three was to go back to AAA and pay a $14 fee for reinstatement and receive my little sticker. (These things I do always cost me many times over what they would if I would just comply in the first place!) So, he asked for my drivers license and that's when it got ugly. Low and behold, that old speeding ticket had gone to warrant for failure to appear. My driving privileges in the state of Arizona had been suspended 12 years ago. He informed me that my car was to be impounded for 30 days and that I was under arrest! Me! Handcuffed in the back of a Highway Patrol car, quivering like a little chihuahua!

Fortunately I wasn't taken to jail, although I could have been. Spirit spared me that nightmare, and I am grateful. I asked spirit to assist me in releasing old habits and patterns, then I waited. I didn't actively take ACTION!

I wanted to play the piano but.....

So, today I am cleaning up old messes from the distant past. I am not decorating a tree, I am not Christmas shopping, I am not avoiding reality. I am paying my debt to society for being a defiant, non-compliant citizen. I asked Spirit and Spirit immediately provided the perfect opportunity to comply. Thank you very much.

Oh! And here's a giant P.S. The cruel irony in all of this? These qualities or faults I see in myself? These are the exact qualities or faults I judge most harshly in others. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Don't ya just hate when that happens?